- You may only have two hands but remember you also have two feet and a chin to substitute.
- Going to the toilet with the door closed is a luxury.
- All parents are part of a secret club. When you pass another parent on the street or at the mall, you won't be able to help but smile to affirm your membership.
- Unscheduled wardrobe changes will become part of your day.
- Parent rooms are always a five kilometre walk from where you happen to be.
- If you have a boy, change his nappy as fast as possible, stand back and keep your mouth closed. The day you forget to do this is the day you realise why should never forget to do this.
- Your baby will always stop doing that cute, adorable or hilarious thing as soon as you bring out the camera.
- Contrary to popular belief, all newborns actually look very different to each other. You'll be able to recognise yours by the fact they are the cutest, most beautiful and most perfectly formed china doll in the nursery.
- Children come with a free pass to watch Sesame Street, read Where the Wild Things Are and tickle Tickle Me Elmo in public without getting a funny look from anyone.
- You will not be able to walk through the mall without old people or clucky young women stopping you to coo over the baby. Sorry.
- You will laugh at baby commercials idealising bath time. Your Johnsons & Johnsons doesn't turn your squalling little devil into a serene little angel!
- You will find lists like this hilarious.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Things I have learned about parenting
The Improbable pursuit of writing and motherhood
My name is Nicky and I am a Writer Mama.
We're a funny lot, us Writer Mamas. Not for us the leisurely 9 -5 day. Oh no. A Writer Mama can be found clackety-clacking away at her computer at all hours. She can be found scratchety-scratching in her journal in between nappy changes. Even in her dreams she is plotting her next novel while her dream-self folds laundry.
In short, we're multitaskers. We're also passionate, determined and, probably, just a bit mad.
With that in mind, this blog will be somewhat of a multitasker. Here I will muse on the changes in me since becoming a mother, the inevitable evolution of my writing and the fine tuning and negotiation required to balance the two parts of my life - writing and motherhood. You'll also see funny lists, parenting in-jokes and book reviews on relevant publications.
My co-host (who introduced himself in the previous post) is Finn Aleister. Born on December 18, 2009, Finn is now ten weeks old and getting bigger by the minute. I hope you find his contributions as enlightening as I do!
Now, if you excuse me, his Royal Highness is thwarting my writing again.
We're a funny lot, us Writer Mamas. Not for us the leisurely 9 -5 day. Oh no. A Writer Mama can be found clackety-clacking away at her computer at all hours. She can be found scratchety-scratching in her journal in between nappy changes. Even in her dreams she is plotting her next novel while her dream-self folds laundry.
In short, we're multitaskers. We're also passionate, determined and, probably, just a bit mad.
With that in mind, this blog will be somewhat of a multitasker. Here I will muse on the changes in me since becoming a mother, the inevitable evolution of my writing and the fine tuning and negotiation required to balance the two parts of my life - writing and motherhood. You'll also see funny lists, parenting in-jokes and book reviews on relevant publications.
My co-host (who introduced himself in the previous post) is Finn Aleister. Born on December 18, 2009, Finn is now ten weeks old and getting bigger by the minute. I hope you find his contributions as enlightening as I do!
Now, if you excuse me, his Royal Highness is thwarting my writing again.
The Diary of His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st
Today marks the 70th day of my reign.
My loyal subjects, Mother and Father, continue to pander to my every need, though I must make my complaint at their slowness known. There are times I have been made to wait for as long as 30 seconds for them to attend to me. This will not do but as I am a gracious sovereign, I shall forgive their folly.
Father has gone on his daily quest to bring back this substance known as "money." It is of little consequence to me, I am distracted by the far more important pursuit of thwarting Mother in her attempts to "write." I have yet to see this "writing," as all Mother does is sit in front of a big black box and make clicking noises with this black pad.
Mother has informed me that I may take my royal nap now. Before I return to my chamber, I will leave you with this: I hope that this diary will be an accurate reflection and capture the important words of a new monarch. May your stay here be enlightening!
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st
My loyal subjects, Mother and Father, continue to pander to my every need, though I must make my complaint at their slowness known. There are times I have been made to wait for as long as 30 seconds for them to attend to me. This will not do but as I am a gracious sovereign, I shall forgive their folly.
Father has gone on his daily quest to bring back this substance known as "money." It is of little consequence to me, I am distracted by the far more important pursuit of thwarting Mother in her attempts to "write." I have yet to see this "writing," as all Mother does is sit in front of a big black box and make clicking noises with this black pad.
Mother has informed me that I may take my royal nap now. Before I return to my chamber, I will leave you with this: I hope that this diary will be an accurate reflection and capture the important words of a new monarch. May your stay here be enlightening!
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st
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