Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Confessions of a bookish mother (shameless plugs included)

You know, sometimes, when you're out and about shopping, you see a mother in a cafe, book in hand, trying to sip a cold coffee while cuddling her baby. Or you see her in Dymocks or Borders, holding up books to her baby's face and asking their opinion. She appears genuinely interested in their opinion on the latest in parenting manuals.

I am that mother.

Yes, I confess, I am a bookish mother. It stands to reason, considering I am a writer. Rather than continue to wax poetic about the ins and outs of being a bookish mother, I thought I would indulge myself by sharing my favourite parenting and writing books as of 2010 (some are about both parenting and writing!)

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My Favourite Parenting and/or Writing Books in No Particular Order

1. The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley
If I convince you to read no other book on parenting, please read this one.

This book almost literally saved my husband and my lives during the first few months of His Highness's life. it helped us to solve the one problem that all parents, especially of newborns, most desperately want to solve.

How the heck do we get our baby to SLEEP?

Before His Highness was born, I was determined that he should learn to sleep through the night without resorting to the cry-it-out method, a parenting choice I happen to despise (I promise a detailed explanation later). Before we read this book, His Highness would fuss and fuss when we put him to bed. His average bedtime was 11pm. He had around six night wakings before morning. We tried everything we could think of to get him to sleep more, barring CIO. We didn't expect our baby to sleep though but we did hope that he would sleep between feeds! Enter The No-Cry Sleep Solution.

This book does not promise miracles or sleep beyond realistic expectations of a newborn or baby. The book actually begins with a table to illustrate how much sleep an average baby of x age usually gets and how many wakings you can expect. Straight off the bat, any myths of a newborn baby sleeping eight unbroken hours are dashed. That's a good thing - realistic expectations = less frustration with reality.

Secondly, this book is lousy with ideas and suggestions that do not involve leaving a baby to cry. We tried anything we thought might help His Highness.

Fast forward to now. His Highness is currently in bed asleep. He's been there for the past three hours. I expect he may wake at midnight for a nappy change and then go back to sleep until Daddy gets up in the morning. His bedtime is now 7:00pm, though he sometimes doses off for a little while at 5:00pm. He gets up at 6:00am. This has been the pattern since he was about three months old.

So, did you want to read that book now?

2. Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach
If you see me reading this book, you may suspect I have channelled my inner Noddy (for the record, my car is red with no hint of yellow and my husband's ears are a perfectly sensible size.) I haven't, obviously, it's just that I agree so vehemently with Dr. Leach's parenting philosophy that I find myself nodding and exclaiming "Exactly!" at about every second paragraph.

This author knows her stuff. She knows child development. She knows how children think. She knows the dos and don'ts of parenting a baby and child. She can rattle off a plethora of workable, sensible parenting solutions that are in-keeping with the stage of development of the child in question. She advocates up to date knowledge, parenting that supports attachment and parenting choices made with the baby or child's needs in mind, not just the parents. She's not a softie, she's a no-nonsense advocate for children.

3. Writer Mama: How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids by Christina Katz
The thing that I love the most about this book is that the author doesn't fill all 300 pages with encouraging "You can do it!" statements. Instead it tells you "This is HOW you WILL do it!" The former might make me feel good but the latter gives me something to do and then the resulting sense of achievement makes me feel good.

Before I read this book, my writing career was something that came "after." After His Highness is at school. After I graduate. After I've done this. After I've done that. Now, my writing career is something that is integrated into my life. Writing is something I do once the baby is in bed or while he naps. I do it while he is playing with Daddy.

If you want to be a Writer Mama (or even a Writer Papa or just a Writer), this book will show you how. It'll show you how to get published and make money before your first novel is sold. It's already given me ideas I would never have considered but am now pursuing.

Before I read this book, I was a mother wanting to be a writer. Now, I am a Freelance Writer and a Writer Mama.

Yes, the book title did partially inspire my blog title but to the best of my knowledge, the term has been in use for some time.

4. Living With Kids and Dogs (without losing your mind) by Colleen Pelar
Many people think I am crazy for adding a dog to my family when I already have a baby. And they'd be right. Fortunately, this book has helped me to get through the challenge of raising a fur- and biological baby without completely losing my mind.

This book is practical, practical and did I mention this book is practical? That is exactly what every parent and dog owner needs - a practical guide to managing both. The practical suggestions are offered in an encouraging manner that helps you to see how dogs think and how to use that to you and your child's advantage.

This book also includes warning signs that your dog is becoming or may become child aggressive, that they are jealous or see your child as a rival. It includes things you should never allow your child to do to your dog and drills into you the idea that even the best dogs can bite if provoked badly or often enough. The author is all about safety - for the child and the dog.

If you are looking for a book to help you deal with the wonderful lunacy of owning a dog and raising a child, this book may help.

5. The New Diary by Tristine Rainier
I have kept a journal since I was 11 years old. Since then, I've been known to be fairly rabid about it. However, like all long-term journalers, sometimes, I hit a rut. Sometimes, I'm so far into the rut I've no clue what to do with a shovel, even if you had one to dig myself out.

This book teaches you a new definition of the proverbial shovel and hands it to you so you can dig yourself out of that metaphorical hole-as-rut.

For those new to journaling, it gives you the tools and offers suggestions on how to get started without boxing you into one form of journaling. This is not a book about writing a date and filling in who you saw, what you ate and what classes you took. This is a book about self-expression and analysis in a way that best fits you.

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Now, if you will excuse me, I have some reading to do. Right after I've finished writing for the night. Before I go, though, I'd like to ask you what your favourite books on parenting and/or writing are?