As a writer, I don't know where I would be without my journal.
As a mother, my journal is my private space, the one thing that is only for me.
The reasons for each are manifold and lead me to believe that (as the title so cleverly suggests) that all writers should journal and that all mothers should write, too. I recognise that is a sweeping statement and I fully acknowledge that. Bear with me while I explain my reasons.
First of all, as a writer our words are always under critique, if not from our editors then from ourselves. We can't put pen to paper without wondering if we've spelt this word right, if that word should be different or if there is a stronger or more accurate version of it. We wonder about flow, we worry about pacing. We second guess grammar and we rewrite the same sentence no less than five times. In a sense, once you become a writer, your writing and your words are no longer your own.
Enter the journal. In the journal, there is no one to critique you, except your own internal critic (and you'd do well to send them on vacation while journaling). There is usually no opportunity to rewrite, unless you don't mind scribbles or white out. Spelling, grammar, punctuation and correct word usage be damned. True, open, unhindered journaling necessitates that your words must come first - if they come out slightly gobbledy goop, then that just expresses how you were in that moment.
In short, the journal is just for the writer. In the journal, the writer can reclaim their words.
"Ok, I take your point!" You say. "But why do mothers need to write then? What does mothering have to do with writing?"
Writing is a form of creation and motherhood has everything to do with creation. I don't know about other mothers but after I had His Highness, I felt I was bubbling over with creativity. The act of creating life seems to set off the spark of creation that was always lurking inside but needed the proper fuel to ignite. If that creativity is going to boil over anyway, you may as well stick a pen or keyboard infront of it.
Secondly, mothers rarely have much time or space to themselves. We may willingly give it up but that doesn't mean we don't crave the ability to close the door and have a room to ourselves. If a mother keeps a journal, she can recreate that room in a tangible, though not identical, sense. She can have a space where she is not Mummy, she is just herself. I can't speak for all mothers in the world but I am a better mother when I have space to let myself out and stretch her legs.
Finally, childhood passes by so quickly. It seems that kids go from newborns to moving out in the blink of an eye. Writing, in a journal, blog or in the form of short stories or letters, can record those little moments that make up a childhood so a mother can relive them, even after their child has their own children. They can revisit their newborn whenever they feel they are missing them.
For writers and mothers, journaling and private creative writing provide two essential things: 1. A sense of privacy. 2. A sense of self. I invite you to take the reins of each and make them your own again by sending your inner critic packing, picking up a nice pen and letting the creativity boil over.
Showing posts with label on writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label on writing. Show all posts
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Confessions of a bookish mother (shameless plugs included)
You know, sometimes, when you're out and about shopping, you see a mother in a cafe, book in hand, trying to sip a cold coffee while cuddling her baby. Or you see her in Dymocks or Borders, holding up books to her baby's face and asking their opinion. She appears genuinely interested in their opinion on the latest in parenting manuals.
I am that mother.
Yes, I confess, I am a bookish mother. It stands to reason, considering I am a writer. Rather than continue to wax poetic about the ins and outs of being a bookish mother, I thought I would indulge myself by sharing my favourite parenting and writing books as of 2010 (some are about both parenting and writing!)
If I convince you to read no other book on parenting, please read this one.
This book almost literally saved my husband and my lives during the first few months of His Highness's life. it helped us to solve the one problem that all parents, especially of newborns, most desperately want to solve.
How the heck do we get our baby to SLEEP?
Before His Highness was born, I was determined that he should learn to sleep through the night without resorting to the cry-it-out method, a parenting choice I happen to despise (I promise a detailed explanation later). Before we read this book, His Highness would fuss and fuss when we put him to bed. His average bedtime was 11pm. He had around six night wakings before morning. We tried everything we could think of to get him to sleep more, barring CIO. We didn't expect our baby to sleep though but we did hope that he would sleep between feeds! Enter The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
This book does not promise miracles or sleep beyond realistic expectations of a newborn or baby. The book actually begins with a table to illustrate how much sleep an average baby of x age usually gets and how many wakings you can expect. Straight off the bat, any myths of a newborn baby sleeping eight unbroken hours are dashed. That's a good thing - realistic expectations = less frustration with reality.
Secondly, this book is lousy with ideas and suggestions that do not involve leaving a baby to cry. We tried anything we thought might help His Highness.
Fast forward to now. His Highness is currently in bed asleep. He's been there for the past three hours. I expect he may wake at midnight for a nappy change and then go back to sleep until Daddy gets up in the morning. His bedtime is now 7:00pm, though he sometimes doses off for a little while at 5:00pm. He gets up at 6:00am. This has been the pattern since he was about three months old.
So, did you want to read that book now?
2. Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach
If you see me reading this book, you may suspect I have channelled my inner Noddy (for the record, my car is red with no hint of yellow and my husband's ears are a perfectly sensible size.) I haven't, obviously, it's just that I agree so vehemently with Dr. Leach's parenting philosophy that I find myself nodding and exclaiming "Exactly!" at about every second paragraph.
This author knows her stuff. She knows child development. She knows how children think. She knows the dos and don'ts of parenting a baby and child. She can rattle off a plethora of workable, sensible parenting solutions that are in-keeping with the stage of development of the child in question. She advocates up to date knowledge, parenting that supports attachment and parenting choices made with the baby or child's needs in mind, not just the parents. She's not a softie, she's a no-nonsense advocate for children.
3. Writer Mama: How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids by Christina Katz
The thing that I love the most about this book is that the author doesn't fill all 300 pages with encouraging "You can do it!" statements. Instead it tells you "This is HOW you WILL do it!" The former might make me feel good but the latter gives me something to do and then the resulting sense of achievement makes me feel good.
Before I read this book, my writing career was something that came "after." After His Highness is at school. After I graduate. After I've done this. After I've done that. Now, my writing career is something that is integrated into my life. Writing is something I do once the baby is in bed or while he naps. I do it while he is playing with Daddy.
If you want to be a Writer Mama (or even a Writer Papa or just a Writer), this book will show you how. It'll show you how to get published and make money before your first novel is sold. It's already given me ideas I would never have considered but am now pursuing.
Before I read this book, I was a mother wanting to be a writer. Now, I am a Freelance Writer and a Writer Mama.
Yes, the book title did partially inspire my blog title but to the best of my knowledge, the term has been in use for some time.
4. Living With Kids and Dogs (without losing your mind) by Colleen Pelar
Many people think I am crazy for adding a dog to my family when I already have a baby. And they'd be right. Fortunately, this book has helped me to get through the challenge of raising a fur- and biological baby without completely losing my mind.
This book is practical, practical and did I mention this book is practical? That is exactly what every parent and dog owner needs - a practical guide to managing both. The practical suggestions are offered in an encouraging manner that helps you to see how dogs think and how to use that to you and your child's advantage.
This book also includes warning signs that your dog is becoming or may become child aggressive, that they are jealous or see your child as a rival. It includes things you should never allow your child to do to your dog and drills into you the idea that even the best dogs can bite if provoked badly or often enough. The author is all about safety - for the child and the dog.
If you are looking for a book to help you deal with the wonderful lunacy of owning a dog and raising a child, this book may help.
5. The New Diary by Tristine Rainier
I have kept a journal since I was 11 years old. Since then, I've been known to be fairly rabid about it. However, like all long-term journalers, sometimes, I hit a rut. Sometimes, I'm so far into the rut I've no clue what to do with a shovel, even if you had one to dig myself out.
This book teaches you a new definition of the proverbial shovel and hands it to you so you can dig yourself out of that metaphorical hole-as-rut.
For those new to journaling, it gives you the tools and offers suggestions on how to get started without boxing you into one form of journaling. This is not a book about writing a date and filling in who you saw, what you ate and what classes you took. This is a book about self-expression and analysis in a way that best fits you.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have some reading to do. Right after I've finished writing for the night. Before I go, though, I'd like to ask you what your favourite books on parenting and/or writing are?
I am that mother.
Yes, I confess, I am a bookish mother. It stands to reason, considering I am a writer. Rather than continue to wax poetic about the ins and outs of being a bookish mother, I thought I would indulge myself by sharing my favourite parenting and writing books as of 2010 (some are about both parenting and writing!)
~
My Favourite Parenting and/or Writing Books in No Particular Order
1. The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth PantleyMy Favourite Parenting and/or Writing Books in No Particular Order
If I convince you to read no other book on parenting, please read this one.
This book almost literally saved my husband and my lives during the first few months of His Highness's life. it helped us to solve the one problem that all parents, especially of newborns, most desperately want to solve.
How the heck do we get our baby to SLEEP?
Before His Highness was born, I was determined that he should learn to sleep through the night without resorting to the cry-it-out method, a parenting choice I happen to despise (I promise a detailed explanation later). Before we read this book, His Highness would fuss and fuss when we put him to bed. His average bedtime was 11pm. He had around six night wakings before morning. We tried everything we could think of to get him to sleep more, barring CIO. We didn't expect our baby to sleep though but we did hope that he would sleep between feeds! Enter The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
This book does not promise miracles or sleep beyond realistic expectations of a newborn or baby. The book actually begins with a table to illustrate how much sleep an average baby of x age usually gets and how many wakings you can expect. Straight off the bat, any myths of a newborn baby sleeping eight unbroken hours are dashed. That's a good thing - realistic expectations = less frustration with reality.
Secondly, this book is lousy with ideas and suggestions that do not involve leaving a baby to cry. We tried anything we thought might help His Highness.
Fast forward to now. His Highness is currently in bed asleep. He's been there for the past three hours. I expect he may wake at midnight for a nappy change and then go back to sleep until Daddy gets up in the morning. His bedtime is now 7:00pm, though he sometimes doses off for a little while at 5:00pm. He gets up at 6:00am. This has been the pattern since he was about three months old.
So, did you want to read that book now?
2. Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach
If you see me reading this book, you may suspect I have channelled my inner Noddy (for the record, my car is red with no hint of yellow and my husband's ears are a perfectly sensible size.) I haven't, obviously, it's just that I agree so vehemently with Dr. Leach's parenting philosophy that I find myself nodding and exclaiming "Exactly!" at about every second paragraph.
This author knows her stuff. She knows child development. She knows how children think. She knows the dos and don'ts of parenting a baby and child. She can rattle off a plethora of workable, sensible parenting solutions that are in-keeping with the stage of development of the child in question. She advocates up to date knowledge, parenting that supports attachment and parenting choices made with the baby or child's needs in mind, not just the parents. She's not a softie, she's a no-nonsense advocate for children.
3. Writer Mama: How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids by Christina Katz
The thing that I love the most about this book is that the author doesn't fill all 300 pages with encouraging "You can do it!" statements. Instead it tells you "This is HOW you WILL do it!" The former might make me feel good but the latter gives me something to do and then the resulting sense of achievement makes me feel good.
Before I read this book, my writing career was something that came "after." After His Highness is at school. After I graduate. After I've done this. After I've done that. Now, my writing career is something that is integrated into my life. Writing is something I do once the baby is in bed or while he naps. I do it while he is playing with Daddy.
If you want to be a Writer Mama (or even a Writer Papa or just a Writer), this book will show you how. It'll show you how to get published and make money before your first novel is sold. It's already given me ideas I would never have considered but am now pursuing.
Before I read this book, I was a mother wanting to be a writer. Now, I am a Freelance Writer and a Writer Mama.
Yes, the book title did partially inspire my blog title but to the best of my knowledge, the term has been in use for some time.
4. Living With Kids and Dogs (without losing your mind) by Colleen Pelar
Many people think I am crazy for adding a dog to my family when I already have a baby. And they'd be right. Fortunately, this book has helped me to get through the challenge of raising a fur- and biological baby without completely losing my mind.
This book is practical, practical and did I mention this book is practical? That is exactly what every parent and dog owner needs - a practical guide to managing both. The practical suggestions are offered in an encouraging manner that helps you to see how dogs think and how to use that to you and your child's advantage.
This book also includes warning signs that your dog is becoming or may become child aggressive, that they are jealous or see your child as a rival. It includes things you should never allow your child to do to your dog and drills into you the idea that even the best dogs can bite if provoked badly or often enough. The author is all about safety - for the child and the dog.
If you are looking for a book to help you deal with the wonderful lunacy of owning a dog and raising a child, this book may help.
5. The New Diary by Tristine Rainier
I have kept a journal since I was 11 years old. Since then, I've been known to be fairly rabid about it. However, like all long-term journalers, sometimes, I hit a rut. Sometimes, I'm so far into the rut I've no clue what to do with a shovel, even if you had one to dig myself out.
This book teaches you a new definition of the proverbial shovel and hands it to you so you can dig yourself out of that metaphorical hole-as-rut.
For those new to journaling, it gives you the tools and offers suggestions on how to get started without boxing you into one form of journaling. This is not a book about writing a date and filling in who you saw, what you ate and what classes you took. This is a book about self-expression and analysis in a way that best fits you.
~
Now, if you will excuse me, I have some reading to do. Right after I've finished writing for the night. Before I go, though, I'd like to ask you what your favourite books on parenting and/or writing are?
Friday, April 23, 2010
If blue thumbs weren't bad enough, now lawnmowers are getting high and hooning around your backyard!
Sit down. I am about to tell you something that will shock you to the core.
I have discovered a show I hate more than In the Night Garden. Cue dramatic music signifying doom.
Larry the Lawnmower.
This show has it all. A possessed set of garden tools, including the loopy lawnmower mentioned in the title, do gardening while trying to solve life's mysteries, such as where chickens come from. There's a pink rake who looks uncannily like I would imagine an ecstasy pill. There's a hose that just looks the face of a Thomas the Tank Engine-esque train. Don't even get me started on the disembodied head of a whale that is supposedly a wheelbarrow.
The worst part? It's narrated by Jay Laga'aia aka the "sexy" Reverend character on Home and Away. Jay, surely you are not so washed up you must lower yourself to participating in this excuse for children's television? Look, if you get to regularly snog Ada Nicodemou on one of Australia's most popular (though not necessarily its most well written, performed or intellectual) TV shows, you are not that washed up. And if you wanted to do children's telly, you could have joined the cast of Playschool.
If you don't believe that any show could be that bad, feel free to watch the intro, courtesy of the good people at YouTube:
Of course, it's only fair to mention that children's television written while high is not new. For example, there is Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men, the classic British kids' show (the less said about the remake the better.) Popular though it was (and still is amongst the 50+ crowd), watching it now is kind of like submerging myself in a bad trip - scary as a silent horror film but strangely addictive.
Just to show you what I mean, here is a little clip I found on YouTube recently. Upon my initial viewing, my reaction was disbelief that such a thing could ever be popular. On my second, I decided it was ridiculous, but cute. On my third? I laughed and bopped along. I even sang the little tune to myself. Clearly, Bill and Ben works on the acquired taste principle. That, or it sends subliminal messages. Either way, enjoy (or be horrified):
Yes, I laughed and bopped along. And sang the little tune to myself.
No, I do not think that Larry the Lawnmower will prove to have the same addictive qualities as Bill and Ben. For a start, it's not funny and secondly, I don't think the Australian writers have worked out how to send subliminal messages yet.
Though, at least we now know where the writers of In The Night Garden and Larry the Lawnmower get their inspiration! Sorry, guys, until you get that wonderful mix of horror and amusement, it ain't gonna be workin' for me.
I have discovered a show I hate more than In the Night Garden. Cue dramatic music signifying doom.
Larry the Lawnmower.
This show has it all. A possessed set of garden tools, including the loopy lawnmower mentioned in the title, do gardening while trying to solve life's mysteries, such as where chickens come from. There's a pink rake who looks uncannily like I would imagine an ecstasy pill. There's a hose that just looks the face of a Thomas the Tank Engine-esque train. Don't even get me started on the disembodied head of a whale that is supposedly a wheelbarrow.
The worst part? It's narrated by Jay Laga'aia aka the "sexy" Reverend character on Home and Away. Jay, surely you are not so washed up you must lower yourself to participating in this excuse for children's television? Look, if you get to regularly snog Ada Nicodemou on one of Australia's most popular (though not necessarily its most well written, performed or intellectual) TV shows, you are not that washed up. And if you wanted to do children's telly, you could have joined the cast of Playschool.
If you don't believe that any show could be that bad, feel free to watch the intro, courtesy of the good people at YouTube:
Of course, it's only fair to mention that children's television written while high is not new. For example, there is Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men, the classic British kids' show (the less said about the remake the better.) Popular though it was (and still is amongst the 50+ crowd), watching it now is kind of like submerging myself in a bad trip - scary as a silent horror film but strangely addictive.
Just to show you what I mean, here is a little clip I found on YouTube recently. Upon my initial viewing, my reaction was disbelief that such a thing could ever be popular. On my second, I decided it was ridiculous, but cute. On my third? I laughed and bopped along. I even sang the little tune to myself. Clearly, Bill and Ben works on the acquired taste principle. That, or it sends subliminal messages. Either way, enjoy (or be horrified):
Yes, I laughed and bopped along. And sang the little tune to myself.
No, I do not think that Larry the Lawnmower will prove to have the same addictive qualities as Bill and Ben. For a start, it's not funny and secondly, I don't think the Australian writers have worked out how to send subliminal messages yet.
Though, at least we now know where the writers of In The Night Garden and Larry the Lawnmower get their inspiration! Sorry, guys, until you get that wonderful mix of horror and amusement, it ain't gonna be workin' for me.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Writing Tips for the Busy Writer Mama (and other busy writers, because, let's face it, how many writers arent?)
1. Resist editing as you write.
One thing I have had to learn is to not stress about what I am writing while I am writing it. When I just let the words come, they flow and develop much more easily than if I stop and reword something at the end of every sentence. It's ok to edit typos, but don't agonise over every nuanace of every sentence. Remember, you can't edit words you don't have.
2. Participate in word wars
I'm amazed that I have only just discovered this wonderful little writing tool. It's literally revolutionised my writing practice and my word count has increased expontentially.
The beauty is in the simplicity. All you do is get together, either online or in person, with a writerly friend or two, set a time limit and then write like a maniac with extraordinarily fast arms until the time is up. I can get up to about 600 words per fifteen minutes when word warring.
If you don't have any writerly friends, you can still just set a timer and write until it pings. The word war just adds that extra incentive to crack your PB (personal best) and gives you more of those lovely words to edit into something worthy of a publishers time.
3. Switch off the TV
How many times have you sat down to watch a half an hour show and found yourself still staring at the telly two hours later? It's time to get strict. Pick a handful of "must watch" shows, shows you would record if you couldn't be there to watch, and switch the TV off the minutes the credits start rolling. Then leave the room to avoid the temptation to switch it back on again.
Along those lines, don't keep a TV in the same room that you write. If anything even remotely entertaining is on, you'll keep turning around to watch it. Keep the visually and auditorily distracting television out of the way. You're probably not missing anything, anyway.
4. Have babywearer, will write
I cannot tell you how useful a babywearer is. It allows you to keep your baby close, all snuggled up next to you, while your hands remain free. This means you can pretty much get anything you need to done, save for showering and bathing. As an added bonus, babies seem to love them, especially when they are old enough to face forwards and watch the world around them.
You know what this means don't you? Get yourself a wearer, pop baby in said wearer and get to writing. You and baby will love it.
5. Use parenting as a springboard to creativity.
Something about giving birth, whether or not you gave birth naturally or had interventions, seems to stimulate something inside. The ultimate act of creation seems to stimulate all these little creations inside you that bubble and boil inside you.
The key is to tap into that creativity. One day, your child or children will do something extremely cute, profoundly touching or incresibly stupid that is going set that bubble a'boilin'. When you feel that rumbling, grab a pen and let that bubble burst.
These little stories can turn into bigger stories or become the basis for characters later on.
6. Find what works for you.
For me, writing in the late morning when Finn is having his second nap works the best for me. I also find that writing around 7:30pm - 9:30pm a great time to tap into the muses, since Finn is in bed then and I'm usually still awake enough to make sense.
Meanwhile, some writerly friends of mine love getting up at 6:00am, writing like mad for an hour before bub gets up. Still more are up in the wee hours of the night, sipping a cup of tea while the hum of the computer keeps them company.
The point I'm trying to make, in an unnecessarily roundabout kind of way, is that you need to find the rhythm that works for you and your family. There's no use trying to get up at 6;)0am if you're not a morning person. Likewise, why force yourself to stay awake until midnight if all you want is your bed at that hour? Find your rhythm and you'll find your words.
7. Write.
Writers write. So write. Everyday. About anything. On any surface. For any length of time. For five minutes or five hours. Just write.
8. No really. Write. Stop reading this list of tips on writing and write.
It amazes me how many so-called writers spend more time reading about writing than they do actually writing. Do you think a cop would put on his uniform, pop the hat on his head and then cosy down to a nice book about being a cop, then call himself a cop? I doubt it.
Likewise, you cannot call yourself a writer if you get out your laptop, open a new Word file and then sit down and read a blog about writing. So stop reading this one and get writing. Go on, go. I can see you. Go. Click that little cross in the corner (or the red circle for Mac user). Go.
Get used to the idea that reading about writing is an aid to the actual writing and not a supplement.
9. Be kind to yourself.
Despite following all the tips above, you will find yourself not being able to write sometimes. If you didn't get to write today or this week or this fortnight, don't give yourself a hard time. Just sit down and write again this second you have a chance. Also, if you've got the flu, the baby is screaming and the dog wants to be let out, let yourself not write for the day. Take care of yourself the way you take care of your family and you will be able to keep writing for much longer and find more satisfaction in your work.
10. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do it, ever.
You will encounter naysayers when you say that you want to write. They'll remind you of your toddler or the housework or the low pay scales. Don't listen to them. They don't know what they are talking about. When you encounter a naysayers just smile politely and let whatever they're saying go in one ear and out the other. Unless they're telling you that while you were writing your toddler set the house on fire with a pile of money, don't listen.
Listen to me when I say you can do it. You will do it. If you listened to me back at Tip 8, you'd be doing it right now. Keep people around you who tell you that you can do it and listen to them as often as they're willing to tell you.
As for the money, as any writer or parent knows, we get rewarded by something much more valuable than money.
One thing I have had to learn is to not stress about what I am writing while I am writing it. When I just let the words come, they flow and develop much more easily than if I stop and reword something at the end of every sentence. It's ok to edit typos, but don't agonise over every nuanace of every sentence. Remember, you can't edit words you don't have.
2. Participate in word wars
I'm amazed that I have only just discovered this wonderful little writing tool. It's literally revolutionised my writing practice and my word count has increased expontentially.
The beauty is in the simplicity. All you do is get together, either online or in person, with a writerly friend or two, set a time limit and then write like a maniac with extraordinarily fast arms until the time is up. I can get up to about 600 words per fifteen minutes when word warring.
If you don't have any writerly friends, you can still just set a timer and write until it pings. The word war just adds that extra incentive to crack your PB (personal best) and gives you more of those lovely words to edit into something worthy of a publishers time.
3. Switch off the TV
How many times have you sat down to watch a half an hour show and found yourself still staring at the telly two hours later? It's time to get strict. Pick a handful of "must watch" shows, shows you would record if you couldn't be there to watch, and switch the TV off the minutes the credits start rolling. Then leave the room to avoid the temptation to switch it back on again.
Along those lines, don't keep a TV in the same room that you write. If anything even remotely entertaining is on, you'll keep turning around to watch it. Keep the visually and auditorily distracting television out of the way. You're probably not missing anything, anyway.
4. Have babywearer, will write
I cannot tell you how useful a babywearer is. It allows you to keep your baby close, all snuggled up next to you, while your hands remain free. This means you can pretty much get anything you need to done, save for showering and bathing. As an added bonus, babies seem to love them, especially when they are old enough to face forwards and watch the world around them.
You know what this means don't you? Get yourself a wearer, pop baby in said wearer and get to writing. You and baby will love it.
5. Use parenting as a springboard to creativity.
Something about giving birth, whether or not you gave birth naturally or had interventions, seems to stimulate something inside. The ultimate act of creation seems to stimulate all these little creations inside you that bubble and boil inside you.
The key is to tap into that creativity. One day, your child or children will do something extremely cute, profoundly touching or incresibly stupid that is going set that bubble a'boilin'. When you feel that rumbling, grab a pen and let that bubble burst.
These little stories can turn into bigger stories or become the basis for characters later on.
6. Find what works for you.
For me, writing in the late morning when Finn is having his second nap works the best for me. I also find that writing around 7:30pm - 9:30pm a great time to tap into the muses, since Finn is in bed then and I'm usually still awake enough to make sense.
Meanwhile, some writerly friends of mine love getting up at 6:00am, writing like mad for an hour before bub gets up. Still more are up in the wee hours of the night, sipping a cup of tea while the hum of the computer keeps them company.
The point I'm trying to make, in an unnecessarily roundabout kind of way, is that you need to find the rhythm that works for you and your family. There's no use trying to get up at 6;)0am if you're not a morning person. Likewise, why force yourself to stay awake until midnight if all you want is your bed at that hour? Find your rhythm and you'll find your words.
7. Write.
Writers write. So write. Everyday. About anything. On any surface. For any length of time. For five minutes or five hours. Just write.
8. No really. Write. Stop reading this list of tips on writing and write.
It amazes me how many so-called writers spend more time reading about writing than they do actually writing. Do you think a cop would put on his uniform, pop the hat on his head and then cosy down to a nice book about being a cop, then call himself a cop? I doubt it.
Likewise, you cannot call yourself a writer if you get out your laptop, open a new Word file and then sit down and read a blog about writing. So stop reading this one and get writing. Go on, go. I can see you. Go. Click that little cross in the corner (or the red circle for Mac user). Go.
Get used to the idea that reading about writing is an aid to the actual writing and not a supplement.
9. Be kind to yourself.
Despite following all the tips above, you will find yourself not being able to write sometimes. If you didn't get to write today or this week or this fortnight, don't give yourself a hard time. Just sit down and write again this second you have a chance. Also, if you've got the flu, the baby is screaming and the dog wants to be let out, let yourself not write for the day. Take care of yourself the way you take care of your family and you will be able to keep writing for much longer and find more satisfaction in your work.
10. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do it, ever.
You will encounter naysayers when you say that you want to write. They'll remind you of your toddler or the housework or the low pay scales. Don't listen to them. They don't know what they are talking about. When you encounter a naysayers just smile politely and let whatever they're saying go in one ear and out the other. Unless they're telling you that while you were writing your toddler set the house on fire with a pile of money, don't listen.
Listen to me when I say you can do it. You will do it. If you listened to me back at Tip 8, you'd be doing it right now. Keep people around you who tell you that you can do it and listen to them as often as they're willing to tell you.
As for the money, as any writer or parent knows, we get rewarded by something much more valuable than money.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The azure-coloured thumb of doom or What happened to the talented children's writers of yore?
Let it be known that I hate In the Night Garden with a passion. Let's go past the bit with the weird brown people with the bulging eyes that look a bit like stoned potatoes. Let's go straight to the really, super creepy giant blue thumb. That bloody thing just bounces around like a nauseating azure limb, waving around that red blankie like it's about to go bullfighting. Not only that, it follows me to the ABC store, to Dymocks, anywhere there are children or books it's there! I turn around and there it is, watching me from that creepy blue Gumby-like thumb head.
It isn't just In the Night Garden that bothers me (though it is the main culprit). There's also Boobah, which is just a bunch of giant blobs with eyes dancing for five minutes. Yesterday I found myself watching a particularly crass show, Mr Maker, that was obviously a poor man's version of Art Attack. The host was so condescending I could feel my IQ dropping.
The thing that offends me the most about these programs is not that they are nauseating or that I feel compelled to check under my bed for dancing blobs or thumb sucking, well, thumbs. No, what I am offended at is they treat children as though they are idiots. Yes, small children do have a fair way to go with regards to cognitive development. That doesn't make them stupid. Instead of providing blobs and silly voices for entertainment, why not include something that might actually help them to develop their cognitive abilities? Something that helps them think? I know that babies love bright colours and people making funny voices at them. But babies quickly become toddlers who become children and they need more than dancing blobs.
In the good old days of my own childhood I watched Mysterious Cities of Gold, Superted, Play School, Spellbinder, Sesame Street, Maid Marian and her Merry Men and a bunch of other quality kids' shows. Sure, they were aimed at children but when I sit down to watch them now, I don't feel spoken down to, nor do I feel compelled to take to my TV with a mallet.
Where did the writers of said shows go? Did they not pass down their knowledge to suitably talented protégés? Didn't they at least think to say "Hey, children are not dumb." In the Night Garden plays out like it was written by a stoned potato who'd just hammered his thumb.
I know there are many sound arguments against children watching TV at all. I certainly agree that babies would be much better served by mobiles and Mama making funny faces at them. However, not all parents ban their kids from the TV and since so many studies have shown how TV influences children, I think it would behove the writers to remember that their audience comprises of young people whose minds are quite malleable and able to take in and learn a surprising amount.
I know there has always been and will always be crappy TV shows out there. In the Night Garden is one of many. However, it seems Australian TV is currently overwhelmed by insultingly dumb programming for its younger audience and until the day someone writes something worth watching, my son’s viewing will be strictly monitored.
If only to stop the nightmares of that dancing thumb. . .
It isn't just In the Night Garden that bothers me (though it is the main culprit). There's also Boobah, which is just a bunch of giant blobs with eyes dancing for five minutes. Yesterday I found myself watching a particularly crass show, Mr Maker, that was obviously a poor man's version of Art Attack. The host was so condescending I could feel my IQ dropping.
The thing that offends me the most about these programs is not that they are nauseating or that I feel compelled to check under my bed for dancing blobs or thumb sucking, well, thumbs. No, what I am offended at is they treat children as though they are idiots. Yes, small children do have a fair way to go with regards to cognitive development. That doesn't make them stupid. Instead of providing blobs and silly voices for entertainment, why not include something that might actually help them to develop their cognitive abilities? Something that helps them think? I know that babies love bright colours and people making funny voices at them. But babies quickly become toddlers who become children and they need more than dancing blobs.
In the good old days of my own childhood I watched Mysterious Cities of Gold, Superted, Play School, Spellbinder, Sesame Street, Maid Marian and her Merry Men and a bunch of other quality kids' shows. Sure, they were aimed at children but when I sit down to watch them now, I don't feel spoken down to, nor do I feel compelled to take to my TV with a mallet.
Where did the writers of said shows go? Did they not pass down their knowledge to suitably talented protégés? Didn't they at least think to say "Hey, children are not dumb." In the Night Garden plays out like it was written by a stoned potato who'd just hammered his thumb.
I know there are many sound arguments against children watching TV at all. I certainly agree that babies would be much better served by mobiles and Mama making funny faces at them. However, not all parents ban their kids from the TV and since so many studies have shown how TV influences children, I think it would behove the writers to remember that their audience comprises of young people whose minds are quite malleable and able to take in and learn a surprising amount.
I know there has always been and will always be crappy TV shows out there. In the Night Garden is one of many. However, it seems Australian TV is currently overwhelmed by insultingly dumb programming for its younger audience and until the day someone writes something worth watching, my son’s viewing will be strictly monitored.
If only to stop the nightmares of that dancing thumb. . .
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Improbable pursuit of writing and motherhood
My name is Nicky and I am a Writer Mama.
We're a funny lot, us Writer Mamas. Not for us the leisurely 9 -5 day. Oh no. A Writer Mama can be found clackety-clacking away at her computer at all hours. She can be found scratchety-scratching in her journal in between nappy changes. Even in her dreams she is plotting her next novel while her dream-self folds laundry.
In short, we're multitaskers. We're also passionate, determined and, probably, just a bit mad.
With that in mind, this blog will be somewhat of a multitasker. Here I will muse on the changes in me since becoming a mother, the inevitable evolution of my writing and the fine tuning and negotiation required to balance the two parts of my life - writing and motherhood. You'll also see funny lists, parenting in-jokes and book reviews on relevant publications.
My co-host (who introduced himself in the previous post) is Finn Aleister. Born on December 18, 2009, Finn is now ten weeks old and getting bigger by the minute. I hope you find his contributions as enlightening as I do!
Now, if you excuse me, his Royal Highness is thwarting my writing again.
We're a funny lot, us Writer Mamas. Not for us the leisurely 9 -5 day. Oh no. A Writer Mama can be found clackety-clacking away at her computer at all hours. She can be found scratchety-scratching in her journal in between nappy changes. Even in her dreams she is plotting her next novel while her dream-self folds laundry.
In short, we're multitaskers. We're also passionate, determined and, probably, just a bit mad.
With that in mind, this blog will be somewhat of a multitasker. Here I will muse on the changes in me since becoming a mother, the inevitable evolution of my writing and the fine tuning and negotiation required to balance the two parts of my life - writing and motherhood. You'll also see funny lists, parenting in-jokes and book reviews on relevant publications.
My co-host (who introduced himself in the previous post) is Finn Aleister. Born on December 18, 2009, Finn is now ten weeks old and getting bigger by the minute. I hope you find his contributions as enlightening as I do!
Now, if you excuse me, his Royal Highness is thwarting my writing again.
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