It's finally happened, guys, Writer Mama (and Son) has itself a Facebook fanpage! Will wonders never cease?
You can check us out here. Please do become a fan! Or don't, I'm not your mother. :)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
If blue thumbs weren't bad enough, now lawnmowers are getting high and hooning around your backyard!
Sit down. I am about to tell you something that will shock you to the core.
I have discovered a show I hate more than In the Night Garden. Cue dramatic music signifying doom.
Larry the Lawnmower.
This show has it all. A possessed set of garden tools, including the loopy lawnmower mentioned in the title, do gardening while trying to solve life's mysteries, such as where chickens come from. There's a pink rake who looks uncannily like I would imagine an ecstasy pill. There's a hose that just looks the face of a Thomas the Tank Engine-esque train. Don't even get me started on the disembodied head of a whale that is supposedly a wheelbarrow.
The worst part? It's narrated by Jay Laga'aia aka the "sexy" Reverend character on Home and Away. Jay, surely you are not so washed up you must lower yourself to participating in this excuse for children's television? Look, if you get to regularly snog Ada Nicodemou on one of Australia's most popular (though not necessarily its most well written, performed or intellectual) TV shows, you are not that washed up. And if you wanted to do children's telly, you could have joined the cast of Playschool.
If you don't believe that any show could be that bad, feel free to watch the intro, courtesy of the good people at YouTube:
Of course, it's only fair to mention that children's television written while high is not new. For example, there is Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men, the classic British kids' show (the less said about the remake the better.) Popular though it was (and still is amongst the 50+ crowd), watching it now is kind of like submerging myself in a bad trip - scary as a silent horror film but strangely addictive.
Just to show you what I mean, here is a little clip I found on YouTube recently. Upon my initial viewing, my reaction was disbelief that such a thing could ever be popular. On my second, I decided it was ridiculous, but cute. On my third? I laughed and bopped along. I even sang the little tune to myself. Clearly, Bill and Ben works on the acquired taste principle. That, or it sends subliminal messages. Either way, enjoy (or be horrified):
Yes, I laughed and bopped along. And sang the little tune to myself.
No, I do not think that Larry the Lawnmower will prove to have the same addictive qualities as Bill and Ben. For a start, it's not funny and secondly, I don't think the Australian writers have worked out how to send subliminal messages yet.
Though, at least we now know where the writers of In The Night Garden and Larry the Lawnmower get their inspiration! Sorry, guys, until you get that wonderful mix of horror and amusement, it ain't gonna be workin' for me.
I have discovered a show I hate more than In the Night Garden. Cue dramatic music signifying doom.
Larry the Lawnmower.
This show has it all. A possessed set of garden tools, including the loopy lawnmower mentioned in the title, do gardening while trying to solve life's mysteries, such as where chickens come from. There's a pink rake who looks uncannily like I would imagine an ecstasy pill. There's a hose that just looks the face of a Thomas the Tank Engine-esque train. Don't even get me started on the disembodied head of a whale that is supposedly a wheelbarrow.
The worst part? It's narrated by Jay Laga'aia aka the "sexy" Reverend character on Home and Away. Jay, surely you are not so washed up you must lower yourself to participating in this excuse for children's television? Look, if you get to regularly snog Ada Nicodemou on one of Australia's most popular (though not necessarily its most well written, performed or intellectual) TV shows, you are not that washed up. And if you wanted to do children's telly, you could have joined the cast of Playschool.
If you don't believe that any show could be that bad, feel free to watch the intro, courtesy of the good people at YouTube:
Of course, it's only fair to mention that children's television written while high is not new. For example, there is Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men, the classic British kids' show (the less said about the remake the better.) Popular though it was (and still is amongst the 50+ crowd), watching it now is kind of like submerging myself in a bad trip - scary as a silent horror film but strangely addictive.
Just to show you what I mean, here is a little clip I found on YouTube recently. Upon my initial viewing, my reaction was disbelief that such a thing could ever be popular. On my second, I decided it was ridiculous, but cute. On my third? I laughed and bopped along. I even sang the little tune to myself. Clearly, Bill and Ben works on the acquired taste principle. That, or it sends subliminal messages. Either way, enjoy (or be horrified):
Yes, I laughed and bopped along. And sang the little tune to myself.
No, I do not think that Larry the Lawnmower will prove to have the same addictive qualities as Bill and Ben. For a start, it's not funny and secondly, I don't think the Australian writers have worked out how to send subliminal messages yet.
Though, at least we now know where the writers of In The Night Garden and Larry the Lawnmower get their inspiration! Sorry, guys, until you get that wonderful mix of horror and amusement, it ain't gonna be workin' for me.
Friday, April 16, 2010
One year
One year ago today, I jumped in the car and ran down to the local chemist. I bought a home pregnancy test two pack, then sped back home again, dropping my bag and sprinting to the loo.
Five minutes later, I saw that second pink line. In an instant, my life had changed.
I cried. I whooped. I called Evan and told him off for his underwhelming reaction. I regained my senses and called the doctor to make an appointment. I took photos of the positive test, before I safely tucked it away in my drawer for prosperity.
I look at Finn now - the way he giggles, the way he cries, the way he grunts when he lifts his head up off the floor, the way he grows overnight - and it amazes me that his presence in my life began as a thin strip of dark pink.
Five minutes later, I saw that second pink line. In an instant, my life had changed.
I cried. I whooped. I called Evan and told him off for his underwhelming reaction. I regained my senses and called the doctor to make an appointment. I took photos of the positive test, before I safely tucked it away in my drawer for prosperity.
I look at Finn now - the way he giggles, the way he cries, the way he grunts when he lifts his head up off the floor, the way he grows overnight - and it amazes me that his presence in my life began as a thin strip of dark pink.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Interloper!
There is an interloper in our midst.
I first noticed not too many days ago. I was enjoying the company of a woman called "Nana," who was hired to entertain me whilst Mother and Father took some leave I granted them. All of a sudden, in walked Mother and Father.
And the interloper.
He was large, as large as me, but not so giant as Mother or Father. Unlike them, his body was covered in this odd fluffy substance Mother and Father call "fur" and he wore nothing on his body as my loyal subjects and I would.
That transgression from the norms I have established was bad enough. To cap it off, he was loud, boisterous, could never sit still. Alternatively, he'd prostrate himself on the ground and be unreachable in coma for hours at a time.
It has been nigh on eighteen days since this interloper turned up on the doorstep of my kingdom, Eighteen days hence, he is still here.
Mother and Father call this blasted creature a "puppy," and keep waving at me screaming "Willow!" How..dull. I must admit, much to my dismay, that this interloper, this "puppy," this "Willow," can entertain me with his spasmodic running after this small round object known as a "ball."
I do not know how long this being will stay. Mother and Father say they hope it will be for years. I do not know how long "years" are but I get the impression it is a considerable length of time. I suppose I shall have to tolerate him. I have already punished Mother and Father with some rudimentary sleep deprivation. They appear to be remorseful. But, as a kindly ruler, 'tis with misgivings I shall allow this Willow to stay.
I am, after all, a good and giving King.
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st.
I first noticed not too many days ago. I was enjoying the company of a woman called "Nana," who was hired to entertain me whilst Mother and Father took some leave I granted them. All of a sudden, in walked Mother and Father.
And the interloper.
He was large, as large as me, but not so giant as Mother or Father. Unlike them, his body was covered in this odd fluffy substance Mother and Father call "fur" and he wore nothing on his body as my loyal subjects and I would.
That transgression from the norms I have established was bad enough. To cap it off, he was loud, boisterous, could never sit still. Alternatively, he'd prostrate himself on the ground and be unreachable in coma for hours at a time.
It has been nigh on eighteen days since this interloper turned up on the doorstep of my kingdom, Eighteen days hence, he is still here.
Mother and Father call this blasted creature a "puppy," and keep waving at me screaming "Willow!" How..dull. I must admit, much to my dismay, that this interloper, this "puppy," this "Willow," can entertain me with his spasmodic running after this small round object known as a "ball."
I do not know how long this being will stay. Mother and Father say they hope it will be for years. I do not know how long "years" are but I get the impression it is a considerable length of time. I suppose I shall have to tolerate him. I have already punished Mother and Father with some rudimentary sleep deprivation. They appear to be remorseful. But, as a kindly ruler, 'tis with misgivings I shall allow this Willow to stay.
I am, after all, a good and giving King.
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st.
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