As a writer, I don't know where I would be without my journal.
As a mother, my journal is my private space, the one thing that is only for me.
The reasons for each are manifold and lead me to believe that (as the title so cleverly suggests) that all writers should journal and that all mothers should write, too. I recognise that is a sweeping statement and I fully acknowledge that. Bear with me while I explain my reasons.
First of all, as a writer our words are always under critique, if not from our editors then from ourselves. We can't put pen to paper without wondering if we've spelt this word right, if that word should be different or if there is a stronger or more accurate version of it. We wonder about flow, we worry about pacing. We second guess grammar and we rewrite the same sentence no less than five times. In a sense, once you become a writer, your writing and your words are no longer your own.
Enter the journal. In the journal, there is no one to critique you, except your own internal critic (and you'd do well to send them on vacation while journaling). There is usually no opportunity to rewrite, unless you don't mind scribbles or white out. Spelling, grammar, punctuation and correct word usage be damned. True, open, unhindered journaling necessitates that your words must come first - if they come out slightly gobbledy goop, then that just expresses how you were in that moment.
In short, the journal is just for the writer. In the journal, the writer can reclaim their words.
"Ok, I take your point!" You say. "But why do mothers need to write then? What does mothering have to do with writing?"
Writing is a form of creation and motherhood has everything to do with creation. I don't know about other mothers but after I had His Highness, I felt I was bubbling over with creativity. The act of creating life seems to set off the spark of creation that was always lurking inside but needed the proper fuel to ignite. If that creativity is going to boil over anyway, you may as well stick a pen or keyboard infront of it.
Secondly, mothers rarely have much time or space to themselves. We may willingly give it up but that doesn't mean we don't crave the ability to close the door and have a room to ourselves. If a mother keeps a journal, she can recreate that room in a tangible, though not identical, sense. She can have a space where she is not Mummy, she is just herself. I can't speak for all mothers in the world but I am a better mother when I have space to let myself out and stretch her legs.
Finally, childhood passes by so quickly. It seems that kids go from newborns to moving out in the blink of an eye. Writing, in a journal, blog or in the form of short stories or letters, can record those little moments that make up a childhood so a mother can relive them, even after their child has their own children. They can revisit their newborn whenever they feel they are missing them.
For writers and mothers, journaling and private creative writing provide two essential things: 1. A sense of privacy. 2. A sense of self. I invite you to take the reins of each and make them your own again by sending your inner critic packing, picking up a nice pen and letting the creativity boil over.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Writer Bubba (and Mum)?
I think I might have a Writer Bubba on my hands. He is actually typing away there, pretending to be like his Writer Mama.
It also appears he is fond of books! His Highness's favourite game at the moment is to tear all of my Mercedes Lackey books off the shelf, then mouth, lick and examine each in turn. Not only is he a Writer Bubba, he also has the same taste in books as his Mama (sometimes literally)!
Editor's note: This post does not imply in any way that the Writer Mama, Nicky, spends time licking her books. It was simply a bad pun and a demonstration of the style of humour employed by the author.
Writer Mama's note: Editor's note included to further demonstrate style of humour employed by me.
Monday, August 16, 2010
New look!
I thought it was time to freshen up Writer Mama (and Son) with a brand new look (new header not included.) I hope you like it as much as I do.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Confessions of a bookish mother (shameless plugs included)
You know, sometimes, when you're out and about shopping, you see a mother in a cafe, book in hand, trying to sip a cold coffee while cuddling her baby. Or you see her in Dymocks or Borders, holding up books to her baby's face and asking their opinion. She appears genuinely interested in their opinion on the latest in parenting manuals.
I am that mother.
Yes, I confess, I am a bookish mother. It stands to reason, considering I am a writer. Rather than continue to wax poetic about the ins and outs of being a bookish mother, I thought I would indulge myself by sharing my favourite parenting and writing books as of 2010 (some are about both parenting and writing!)
If I convince you to read no other book on parenting, please read this one.
This book almost literally saved my husband and my lives during the first few months of His Highness's life. it helped us to solve the one problem that all parents, especially of newborns, most desperately want to solve.
How the heck do we get our baby to SLEEP?
Before His Highness was born, I was determined that he should learn to sleep through the night without resorting to the cry-it-out method, a parenting choice I happen to despise (I promise a detailed explanation later). Before we read this book, His Highness would fuss and fuss when we put him to bed. His average bedtime was 11pm. He had around six night wakings before morning. We tried everything we could think of to get him to sleep more, barring CIO. We didn't expect our baby to sleep though but we did hope that he would sleep between feeds! Enter The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
This book does not promise miracles or sleep beyond realistic expectations of a newborn or baby. The book actually begins with a table to illustrate how much sleep an average baby of x age usually gets and how many wakings you can expect. Straight off the bat, any myths of a newborn baby sleeping eight unbroken hours are dashed. That's a good thing - realistic expectations = less frustration with reality.
Secondly, this book is lousy with ideas and suggestions that do not involve leaving a baby to cry. We tried anything we thought might help His Highness.
Fast forward to now. His Highness is currently in bed asleep. He's been there for the past three hours. I expect he may wake at midnight for a nappy change and then go back to sleep until Daddy gets up in the morning. His bedtime is now 7:00pm, though he sometimes doses off for a little while at 5:00pm. He gets up at 6:00am. This has been the pattern since he was about three months old.
So, did you want to read that book now?
2. Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach
If you see me reading this book, you may suspect I have channelled my inner Noddy (for the record, my car is red with no hint of yellow and my husband's ears are a perfectly sensible size.) I haven't, obviously, it's just that I agree so vehemently with Dr. Leach's parenting philosophy that I find myself nodding and exclaiming "Exactly!" at about every second paragraph.
This author knows her stuff. She knows child development. She knows how children think. She knows the dos and don'ts of parenting a baby and child. She can rattle off a plethora of workable, sensible parenting solutions that are in-keeping with the stage of development of the child in question. She advocates up to date knowledge, parenting that supports attachment and parenting choices made with the baby or child's needs in mind, not just the parents. She's not a softie, she's a no-nonsense advocate for children.
3. Writer Mama: How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids by Christina Katz
The thing that I love the most about this book is that the author doesn't fill all 300 pages with encouraging "You can do it!" statements. Instead it tells you "This is HOW you WILL do it!" The former might make me feel good but the latter gives me something to do and then the resulting sense of achievement makes me feel good.
Before I read this book, my writing career was something that came "after." After His Highness is at school. After I graduate. After I've done this. After I've done that. Now, my writing career is something that is integrated into my life. Writing is something I do once the baby is in bed or while he naps. I do it while he is playing with Daddy.
If you want to be a Writer Mama (or even a Writer Papa or just a Writer), this book will show you how. It'll show you how to get published and make money before your first novel is sold. It's already given me ideas I would never have considered but am now pursuing.
Before I read this book, I was a mother wanting to be a writer. Now, I am a Freelance Writer and a Writer Mama.
Yes, the book title did partially inspire my blog title but to the best of my knowledge, the term has been in use for some time.
4. Living With Kids and Dogs (without losing your mind) by Colleen Pelar
Many people think I am crazy for adding a dog to my family when I already have a baby. And they'd be right. Fortunately, this book has helped me to get through the challenge of raising a fur- and biological baby without completely losing my mind.
This book is practical, practical and did I mention this book is practical? That is exactly what every parent and dog owner needs - a practical guide to managing both. The practical suggestions are offered in an encouraging manner that helps you to see how dogs think and how to use that to you and your child's advantage.
This book also includes warning signs that your dog is becoming or may become child aggressive, that they are jealous or see your child as a rival. It includes things you should never allow your child to do to your dog and drills into you the idea that even the best dogs can bite if provoked badly or often enough. The author is all about safety - for the child and the dog.
If you are looking for a book to help you deal with the wonderful lunacy of owning a dog and raising a child, this book may help.
5. The New Diary by Tristine Rainier
I have kept a journal since I was 11 years old. Since then, I've been known to be fairly rabid about it. However, like all long-term journalers, sometimes, I hit a rut. Sometimes, I'm so far into the rut I've no clue what to do with a shovel, even if you had one to dig myself out.
This book teaches you a new definition of the proverbial shovel and hands it to you so you can dig yourself out of that metaphorical hole-as-rut.
For those new to journaling, it gives you the tools and offers suggestions on how to get started without boxing you into one form of journaling. This is not a book about writing a date and filling in who you saw, what you ate and what classes you took. This is a book about self-expression and analysis in a way that best fits you.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have some reading to do. Right after I've finished writing for the night. Before I go, though, I'd like to ask you what your favourite books on parenting and/or writing are?
I am that mother.
Yes, I confess, I am a bookish mother. It stands to reason, considering I am a writer. Rather than continue to wax poetic about the ins and outs of being a bookish mother, I thought I would indulge myself by sharing my favourite parenting and writing books as of 2010 (some are about both parenting and writing!)
~
My Favourite Parenting and/or Writing Books in No Particular Order
1. The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth PantleyMy Favourite Parenting and/or Writing Books in No Particular Order
If I convince you to read no other book on parenting, please read this one.
This book almost literally saved my husband and my lives during the first few months of His Highness's life. it helped us to solve the one problem that all parents, especially of newborns, most desperately want to solve.
How the heck do we get our baby to SLEEP?
Before His Highness was born, I was determined that he should learn to sleep through the night without resorting to the cry-it-out method, a parenting choice I happen to despise (I promise a detailed explanation later). Before we read this book, His Highness would fuss and fuss when we put him to bed. His average bedtime was 11pm. He had around six night wakings before morning. We tried everything we could think of to get him to sleep more, barring CIO. We didn't expect our baby to sleep though but we did hope that he would sleep between feeds! Enter The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
This book does not promise miracles or sleep beyond realistic expectations of a newborn or baby. The book actually begins with a table to illustrate how much sleep an average baby of x age usually gets and how many wakings you can expect. Straight off the bat, any myths of a newborn baby sleeping eight unbroken hours are dashed. That's a good thing - realistic expectations = less frustration with reality.
Secondly, this book is lousy with ideas and suggestions that do not involve leaving a baby to cry. We tried anything we thought might help His Highness.
Fast forward to now. His Highness is currently in bed asleep. He's been there for the past three hours. I expect he may wake at midnight for a nappy change and then go back to sleep until Daddy gets up in the morning. His bedtime is now 7:00pm, though he sometimes doses off for a little while at 5:00pm. He gets up at 6:00am. This has been the pattern since he was about three months old.
So, did you want to read that book now?
2. Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach
If you see me reading this book, you may suspect I have channelled my inner Noddy (for the record, my car is red with no hint of yellow and my husband's ears are a perfectly sensible size.) I haven't, obviously, it's just that I agree so vehemently with Dr. Leach's parenting philosophy that I find myself nodding and exclaiming "Exactly!" at about every second paragraph.
This author knows her stuff. She knows child development. She knows how children think. She knows the dos and don'ts of parenting a baby and child. She can rattle off a plethora of workable, sensible parenting solutions that are in-keeping with the stage of development of the child in question. She advocates up to date knowledge, parenting that supports attachment and parenting choices made with the baby or child's needs in mind, not just the parents. She's not a softie, she's a no-nonsense advocate for children.
3. Writer Mama: How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids by Christina Katz
The thing that I love the most about this book is that the author doesn't fill all 300 pages with encouraging "You can do it!" statements. Instead it tells you "This is HOW you WILL do it!" The former might make me feel good but the latter gives me something to do and then the resulting sense of achievement makes me feel good.
Before I read this book, my writing career was something that came "after." After His Highness is at school. After I graduate. After I've done this. After I've done that. Now, my writing career is something that is integrated into my life. Writing is something I do once the baby is in bed or while he naps. I do it while he is playing with Daddy.
If you want to be a Writer Mama (or even a Writer Papa or just a Writer), this book will show you how. It'll show you how to get published and make money before your first novel is sold. It's already given me ideas I would never have considered but am now pursuing.
Before I read this book, I was a mother wanting to be a writer. Now, I am a Freelance Writer and a Writer Mama.
Yes, the book title did partially inspire my blog title but to the best of my knowledge, the term has been in use for some time.
4. Living With Kids and Dogs (without losing your mind) by Colleen Pelar
Many people think I am crazy for adding a dog to my family when I already have a baby. And they'd be right. Fortunately, this book has helped me to get through the challenge of raising a fur- and biological baby without completely losing my mind.
This book is practical, practical and did I mention this book is practical? That is exactly what every parent and dog owner needs - a practical guide to managing both. The practical suggestions are offered in an encouraging manner that helps you to see how dogs think and how to use that to you and your child's advantage.
This book also includes warning signs that your dog is becoming or may become child aggressive, that they are jealous or see your child as a rival. It includes things you should never allow your child to do to your dog and drills into you the idea that even the best dogs can bite if provoked badly or often enough. The author is all about safety - for the child and the dog.
If you are looking for a book to help you deal with the wonderful lunacy of owning a dog and raising a child, this book may help.
5. The New Diary by Tristine Rainier
I have kept a journal since I was 11 years old. Since then, I've been known to be fairly rabid about it. However, like all long-term journalers, sometimes, I hit a rut. Sometimes, I'm so far into the rut I've no clue what to do with a shovel, even if you had one to dig myself out.
This book teaches you a new definition of the proverbial shovel and hands it to you so you can dig yourself out of that metaphorical hole-as-rut.
For those new to journaling, it gives you the tools and offers suggestions on how to get started without boxing you into one form of journaling. This is not a book about writing a date and filling in who you saw, what you ate and what classes you took. This is a book about self-expression and analysis in a way that best fits you.
~
Now, if you will excuse me, I have some reading to do. Right after I've finished writing for the night. Before I go, though, I'd like to ask you what your favourite books on parenting and/or writing are?
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Hiatus
Let me apologise for my unannounced hiatus. After a hectic semester at Uni, an ever-erratic writing schedule and a sick baby, I needed a little break from my blog to concentrate on my novel and personal creative work. Never fear, Writer Mama (and Son) is back to full functionality as of now and any additional hiatuses will be announced.
Also, please enjoy the little stories promised for Finny Photos. New photos coming soon!
Also, please enjoy the little stories promised for Finny Photos. New photos coming soon!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Story 4: Play
Here is the aforementioned play mat that His Royal Highness likes to have dragged into my room, so he can lie on the floor and distract me from whatever my current literary pursuit is.
On this particular day, His Highness had decided that the best game to play was "I am tired but want to stay up so I will make you hold my dummy while I wrap my arms around your hand in a vice-like grip. Additionally, I will fix you with a Mesmer stare, rendering you hypnotised so you cannot escape! Muahahaha!"
Sounds a little like the title of a Ricki Lake episode, if you ask me.
His Royal Highness still enjoys this game, but these days he usually wants it in the context of before-sleep preparations. Fortunately, these measures usually only take a few minutes to induce sleep and I can have my hand back within five minutes. Feeling usually returns within the hour.
I still prefer "Flying Baby" to "I am tired but want to stay up so I will make you hold my dummy while I wrap my arms around your hand in a vice-like grip. Additionally, I will fix you with a Mesmer stare, rendering you hypnotised so you cannot escape! Muahahaha!" It's just punchier!
~
As you may have guessed, there really wasn't much of a story behind "Play," worth writing about. Let that be a lesson to me to pick better photos next time!
Story 3: Jesse
Mother is a particularly odd person at times.
Although I am her King, there are times she is under the delusion that she rules over me and, since I am only small, she holds me in her lap and makes me watch this nauseating program, Full House, in which other humans harass their Queen, Michelle.
One character I find particularly crass is the "Uncle," a greasy haired man named Jesse. Jesse is always kissing and hugging people and overusing the phrase "Have mercy!" I do believe it should be his victims asking for mercy!
He has a particular propensity to do this to Queen Michelle. No matter how many times she informs him that he is in "big trouble, mister!", he continues to pick her up, carry her around, kiss her and throw her around the place in random directions. What a dastardly way to treat royalty! Michelle is, fortunately, good humoured about the whole thing and even seems to have started to enjoy this rough treatment.
It is not only his own Queen he disrespects, though. Whenever there is another King or Queen in the house, Jesse insists on performing these bizarre tortures on these poor unsuspecting monarchs. This photo demonstrates how his relentless badgering does not stop, even when he reduces this King to tears.
He really is an awfully disrespectful subject. It bemuses me that he has not yet been vomited on, or even received the most dire of punishments - number 3s.
Of course, Mother finds this all very amusing. Everytime that schmuck is on the television, I must endure his completely un-funny antics and tolerate Mothers squealing "Ooh, it's Uncle Jesse, look at him with that baby! Aww!"
The number 3 would be preferable to this.
*sigh* I truly am a tolerant ruler.
Story 2: Puppy love
The Interloper and Mother were outside, while I sat on the sidelines in my chariot. The day was warm and Father was enjoying the outdoors, too, waving around this silver box called a "camera."
Meanwhile, Mother and The Interloper were engaged in some curious dance in which she called out the next step and he performed it. It occurred to me that it was an odd dance, since Mother did not actually dance, other than to walk around in circles or to bend her knee, but I figured that was how this dance was supposed to be performed.
At one point in this dance, Mother knelt in front of a seated Interloper and started holding her hand above him, screaming "High five!" He stared at her, utter bemusement painted on his beastly features. Suddenly, it was like a switch was flicked. His eyes lit up and his paw met with Mother's outstretched hand. Mother squealed "High five!" and started shoving little pellets in his mouth, which he seemed to enjoy. She kept lifting her hand, screaming "High five!" at The Interloper, to which he placed his paw in her palm.
Apparently "high five" is Mother's favourite dance move from around these parts. They must not know that step in The Interloper's country, or she would not have had to teach him.
My subjects are truly bizarre, but at least they keep me entertained with their outlandish tomfoolery.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Story 1: Distraction
Finn likes to sit by me while I write. Sometimes, he likes to lie on the floor and play with his myriad toys. Other times, he likes to practice rolling. But many times he likes to sit on my lap and try to take over the keyboard.
This photo was taken during one of those times. Finn was sitting on my lap, attempting to type up his own literary masterpiece, equivalent in scope only to Tolstoy's War and Peace (well in his [and my] mind, anyway), when I got fed up of my little "distraction" and lifted him up into the air, screaming "Flying baby - away!"
Little did I know the monster I had just created. His new favourite thing is to distract Mummy in order to induce a game of Flying Baby. *face palm*
When he isn't busy throwing his toys on the floor for Mum to pick them up, that is.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Advice for Finn
1. Follow your dreams. Not the dreams you think you should want, but the dreams that make your soul sing. When you close your eyes, you'll see the life you want. Follow that.
2. Never let anyone tell you you can't do it. Not a teacher, friend, your Mum or Dad (yes, I just advised you to ignore me or your father!) You CAN do it. Whatever you want to do is in the palm of your hands, you have only to reach for it.
3. Judge people on who they are, not what they are. This is a very important distinction to make. For example, never make sweeping statements like "All lawyers just want the big bucks," when the person next to you in the Woollies queue could be a kind-hearted person who became a lawyer because they wanted to give a voice to those who couldn't defend themselves.
4. Likewise, never let anyone judge you on what you are. They don't know who you are underneath your uniform or job title or physical appearance.
5. Love like there's no tomorrow and get your heart broken. It is a lot less painful to have your heart broken into smithereens and feel it'll never be whole again than to wake up as an 86 year old and find yourself consumed by the emptiness of never loving for fear of being hurt.
6. Be yourself. That way, you always know you are loved for who you are.
7. When it comes to sex, NEVER have sex with anyone without their informed enthusiastic consent. If you haven't discussed it with your partner beforehand and received a "Hell yes!" in reply, you don't have informed enthusiastic consent. Oh and if they're under the legal age of consent or very drunk, they can't give informed (even if it seems enthusiastic!) consent so don't go there.
8. While we're on the topic of sex, never let anyone make you feel you need to have sex to keep them or to look cool or for any reason other than you enthusiastically want to. Sex won't put a relationship that's gone sour back together and it won't make you feel cool to regret an experience you have, whether it's your first time or your fiftieth.
9. I don't care if you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, omnisexual or any other word you can add to sexual. All I care about is that you are treated well and are happy.
10. Your father and I love you more than you could possibly know and will always be here for you. Nothing you do could make us love you any less so please come to us if you need help for ANY reason. We'll be here for you.
2. Never let anyone tell you you can't do it. Not a teacher, friend, your Mum or Dad (yes, I just advised you to ignore me or your father!) You CAN do it. Whatever you want to do is in the palm of your hands, you have only to reach for it.
3. Judge people on who they are, not what they are. This is a very important distinction to make. For example, never make sweeping statements like "All lawyers just want the big bucks," when the person next to you in the Woollies queue could be a kind-hearted person who became a lawyer because they wanted to give a voice to those who couldn't defend themselves.
4. Likewise, never let anyone judge you on what you are. They don't know who you are underneath your uniform or job title or physical appearance.
5. Love like there's no tomorrow and get your heart broken. It is a lot less painful to have your heart broken into smithereens and feel it'll never be whole again than to wake up as an 86 year old and find yourself consumed by the emptiness of never loving for fear of being hurt.
6. Be yourself. That way, you always know you are loved for who you are.
7. When it comes to sex, NEVER have sex with anyone without their informed enthusiastic consent. If you haven't discussed it with your partner beforehand and received a "Hell yes!" in reply, you don't have informed enthusiastic consent. Oh and if they're under the legal age of consent or very drunk, they can't give informed (even if it seems enthusiastic!) consent so don't go there.
8. While we're on the topic of sex, never let anyone make you feel you need to have sex to keep them or to look cool or for any reason other than you enthusiastically want to. Sex won't put a relationship that's gone sour back together and it won't make you feel cool to regret an experience you have, whether it's your first time or your fiftieth.
9. I don't care if you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, omnisexual or any other word you can add to sexual. All I care about is that you are treated well and are happy.
10. Your father and I love you more than you could possibly know and will always be here for you. Nothing you do could make us love you any less so please come to us if you need help for ANY reason. We'll be here for you.
~
Now I've waxed poetic about what I'd like my son to know, I'm curious to know what advice you wish your parents had given you? If you have or plan on having children, what advice will you give them about life?
Finny Photos
So it seems that everybody who voted was intrigued by a different photo. In a way this is a good thing, as it shows that I chose a diverse enough range of images from my day to satisfy all tastes. However, it does mean that I need to either a) Choose which photo I would like to write about or b) Write about all to be fair to the voters.
I have decided that the only fair choice is b). So, starting from tomorrow, I will be posting a little story each day about the chosen photos. His Royal Highness will probably have his 2c worth as well!
I hope you enjoy the series as much as I look forward to writing it.
I have decided that the only fair choice is b). So, starting from tomorrow, I will be posting a little story each day about the chosen photos. His Royal Highness will probably have his 2c worth as well!
I hope you enjoy the series as much as I look forward to writing it.
Monday, May 3, 2010
A Day in the Life
I am launching a new segment tonight - Finny Photos! Yes, the title is a very bad play on "Funny Photos." Basically each fortnight, I will post a bunch of photos of my week, or a day in my life. The catch is that each will receive only a one or two word caption to explain what is going on and you, the reader, will have to vote on which Finny Photo you most want the full scoop on. So, without further ado, may I present:
Morning
Distraction
Puppy love.
Doctor
Park
Play
Fail
Jesse
Goodnight
Sleep tight.
Leave a comment to vote!
A Day in the Life
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Morning
Distraction
Puppy love.
Doctor
Park
Play
Fail
Jesse
Goodnight
Sleep tight.
Leave a comment to vote!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Teething of His Royal Highness
Oh calamity! Alas, alack, forsooth and woe is me. I, His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st, am teething.
This is a terrible day. The pain, oh it is incredible! My gums ache and bleed. I find this horrible clear liquid dribbling down my chin. Mother and Father keep shoving their fingers in my mouth or rubbing this odd clear substance on my raw gums that is oddly soothing. It is Mother who told me this horrendous process is known as "teething." I heard her tell Father that soon they will start me on solids. I do not know what these "solids" are but they better be good and make this pain worth it! I will not take any tom-foolery from my subjects lying down!
The Interloper has been making life challenging for my subjects and they do not serve me hand and foot as they once did, though truly I am not neglecting. The beast keeps chewing on chair legs, shoes and what have you. Mother says he is also teething - well my teeth hurt too, but I have the self-control and dignity to not chew on furniture!
This whole affair is very trying. I do confess, I grow weary of this teething.
Yet, at the back of my mind, I know that this is an initiation into something greater, something "manlier," as it were. Something called "solids."
This is a terrible day. The pain, oh it is incredible! My gums ache and bleed. I find this horrible clear liquid dribbling down my chin. Mother and Father keep shoving their fingers in my mouth or rubbing this odd clear substance on my raw gums that is oddly soothing. It is Mother who told me this horrendous process is known as "teething." I heard her tell Father that soon they will start me on solids. I do not know what these "solids" are but they better be good and make this pain worth it! I will not take any tom-foolery from my subjects lying down!
The Interloper has been making life challenging for my subjects and they do not serve me hand and foot as they once did, though truly I am not neglecting. The beast keeps chewing on chair legs, shoes and what have you. Mother says he is also teething - well my teeth hurt too, but I have the self-control and dignity to not chew on furniture!
This whole affair is very trying. I do confess, I grow weary of this teething.
Yet, at the back of my mind, I know that this is an initiation into something greater, something "manlier," as it were. Something called "solids."
Friday, April 30, 2010
Shameless plug
It's finally happened, guys, Writer Mama (and Son) has itself a Facebook fanpage! Will wonders never cease?
You can check us out here. Please do become a fan! Or don't, I'm not your mother. :)
You can check us out here. Please do become a fan! Or don't, I'm not your mother. :)
Friday, April 23, 2010
If blue thumbs weren't bad enough, now lawnmowers are getting high and hooning around your backyard!
Sit down. I am about to tell you something that will shock you to the core.
I have discovered a show I hate more than In the Night Garden. Cue dramatic music signifying doom.
Larry the Lawnmower.
This show has it all. A possessed set of garden tools, including the loopy lawnmower mentioned in the title, do gardening while trying to solve life's mysteries, such as where chickens come from. There's a pink rake who looks uncannily like I would imagine an ecstasy pill. There's a hose that just looks the face of a Thomas the Tank Engine-esque train. Don't even get me started on the disembodied head of a whale that is supposedly a wheelbarrow.
The worst part? It's narrated by Jay Laga'aia aka the "sexy" Reverend character on Home and Away. Jay, surely you are not so washed up you must lower yourself to participating in this excuse for children's television? Look, if you get to regularly snog Ada Nicodemou on one of Australia's most popular (though not necessarily its most well written, performed or intellectual) TV shows, you are not that washed up. And if you wanted to do children's telly, you could have joined the cast of Playschool.
If you don't believe that any show could be that bad, feel free to watch the intro, courtesy of the good people at YouTube:
Of course, it's only fair to mention that children's television written while high is not new. For example, there is Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men, the classic British kids' show (the less said about the remake the better.) Popular though it was (and still is amongst the 50+ crowd), watching it now is kind of like submerging myself in a bad trip - scary as a silent horror film but strangely addictive.
Just to show you what I mean, here is a little clip I found on YouTube recently. Upon my initial viewing, my reaction was disbelief that such a thing could ever be popular. On my second, I decided it was ridiculous, but cute. On my third? I laughed and bopped along. I even sang the little tune to myself. Clearly, Bill and Ben works on the acquired taste principle. That, or it sends subliminal messages. Either way, enjoy (or be horrified):
Yes, I laughed and bopped along. And sang the little tune to myself.
No, I do not think that Larry the Lawnmower will prove to have the same addictive qualities as Bill and Ben. For a start, it's not funny and secondly, I don't think the Australian writers have worked out how to send subliminal messages yet.
Though, at least we now know where the writers of In The Night Garden and Larry the Lawnmower get their inspiration! Sorry, guys, until you get that wonderful mix of horror and amusement, it ain't gonna be workin' for me.
I have discovered a show I hate more than In the Night Garden. Cue dramatic music signifying doom.
Larry the Lawnmower.
This show has it all. A possessed set of garden tools, including the loopy lawnmower mentioned in the title, do gardening while trying to solve life's mysteries, such as where chickens come from. There's a pink rake who looks uncannily like I would imagine an ecstasy pill. There's a hose that just looks the face of a Thomas the Tank Engine-esque train. Don't even get me started on the disembodied head of a whale that is supposedly a wheelbarrow.
The worst part? It's narrated by Jay Laga'aia aka the "sexy" Reverend character on Home and Away. Jay, surely you are not so washed up you must lower yourself to participating in this excuse for children's television? Look, if you get to regularly snog Ada Nicodemou on one of Australia's most popular (though not necessarily its most well written, performed or intellectual) TV shows, you are not that washed up. And if you wanted to do children's telly, you could have joined the cast of Playschool.
If you don't believe that any show could be that bad, feel free to watch the intro, courtesy of the good people at YouTube:
Of course, it's only fair to mention that children's television written while high is not new. For example, there is Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men, the classic British kids' show (the less said about the remake the better.) Popular though it was (and still is amongst the 50+ crowd), watching it now is kind of like submerging myself in a bad trip - scary as a silent horror film but strangely addictive.
Just to show you what I mean, here is a little clip I found on YouTube recently. Upon my initial viewing, my reaction was disbelief that such a thing could ever be popular. On my second, I decided it was ridiculous, but cute. On my third? I laughed and bopped along. I even sang the little tune to myself. Clearly, Bill and Ben works on the acquired taste principle. That, or it sends subliminal messages. Either way, enjoy (or be horrified):
Yes, I laughed and bopped along. And sang the little tune to myself.
No, I do not think that Larry the Lawnmower will prove to have the same addictive qualities as Bill and Ben. For a start, it's not funny and secondly, I don't think the Australian writers have worked out how to send subliminal messages yet.
Though, at least we now know where the writers of In The Night Garden and Larry the Lawnmower get their inspiration! Sorry, guys, until you get that wonderful mix of horror and amusement, it ain't gonna be workin' for me.
Friday, April 16, 2010
One year
One year ago today, I jumped in the car and ran down to the local chemist. I bought a home pregnancy test two pack, then sped back home again, dropping my bag and sprinting to the loo.
Five minutes later, I saw that second pink line. In an instant, my life had changed.
I cried. I whooped. I called Evan and told him off for his underwhelming reaction. I regained my senses and called the doctor to make an appointment. I took photos of the positive test, before I safely tucked it away in my drawer for prosperity.
I look at Finn now - the way he giggles, the way he cries, the way he grunts when he lifts his head up off the floor, the way he grows overnight - and it amazes me that his presence in my life began as a thin strip of dark pink.
Five minutes later, I saw that second pink line. In an instant, my life had changed.
I cried. I whooped. I called Evan and told him off for his underwhelming reaction. I regained my senses and called the doctor to make an appointment. I took photos of the positive test, before I safely tucked it away in my drawer for prosperity.
I look at Finn now - the way he giggles, the way he cries, the way he grunts when he lifts his head up off the floor, the way he grows overnight - and it amazes me that his presence in my life began as a thin strip of dark pink.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Interloper!
There is an interloper in our midst.
I first noticed not too many days ago. I was enjoying the company of a woman called "Nana," who was hired to entertain me whilst Mother and Father took some leave I granted them. All of a sudden, in walked Mother and Father.
And the interloper.
He was large, as large as me, but not so giant as Mother or Father. Unlike them, his body was covered in this odd fluffy substance Mother and Father call "fur" and he wore nothing on his body as my loyal subjects and I would.
That transgression from the norms I have established was bad enough. To cap it off, he was loud, boisterous, could never sit still. Alternatively, he'd prostrate himself on the ground and be unreachable in coma for hours at a time.
It has been nigh on eighteen days since this interloper turned up on the doorstep of my kingdom, Eighteen days hence, he is still here.
Mother and Father call this blasted creature a "puppy," and keep waving at me screaming "Willow!" How..dull. I must admit, much to my dismay, that this interloper, this "puppy," this "Willow," can entertain me with his spasmodic running after this small round object known as a "ball."
I do not know how long this being will stay. Mother and Father say they hope it will be for years. I do not know how long "years" are but I get the impression it is a considerable length of time. I suppose I shall have to tolerate him. I have already punished Mother and Father with some rudimentary sleep deprivation. They appear to be remorseful. But, as a kindly ruler, 'tis with misgivings I shall allow this Willow to stay.
I am, after all, a good and giving King.
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st.
I first noticed not too many days ago. I was enjoying the company of a woman called "Nana," who was hired to entertain me whilst Mother and Father took some leave I granted them. All of a sudden, in walked Mother and Father.
And the interloper.
He was large, as large as me, but not so giant as Mother or Father. Unlike them, his body was covered in this odd fluffy substance Mother and Father call "fur" and he wore nothing on his body as my loyal subjects and I would.
That transgression from the norms I have established was bad enough. To cap it off, he was loud, boisterous, could never sit still. Alternatively, he'd prostrate himself on the ground and be unreachable in coma for hours at a time.
It has been nigh on eighteen days since this interloper turned up on the doorstep of my kingdom, Eighteen days hence, he is still here.
Mother and Father call this blasted creature a "puppy," and keep waving at me screaming "Willow!" How..dull. I must admit, much to my dismay, that this interloper, this "puppy," this "Willow," can entertain me with his spasmodic running after this small round object known as a "ball."
I do not know how long this being will stay. Mother and Father say they hope it will be for years. I do not know how long "years" are but I get the impression it is a considerable length of time. I suppose I shall have to tolerate him. I have already punished Mother and Father with some rudimentary sleep deprivation. They appear to be remorseful. But, as a kindly ruler, 'tis with misgivings I shall allow this Willow to stay.
I am, after all, a good and giving King.
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Writing Tips for the Busy Writer Mama (and other busy writers, because, let's face it, how many writers arent?)
1. Resist editing as you write.
One thing I have had to learn is to not stress about what I am writing while I am writing it. When I just let the words come, they flow and develop much more easily than if I stop and reword something at the end of every sentence. It's ok to edit typos, but don't agonise over every nuanace of every sentence. Remember, you can't edit words you don't have.
2. Participate in word wars
I'm amazed that I have only just discovered this wonderful little writing tool. It's literally revolutionised my writing practice and my word count has increased expontentially.
The beauty is in the simplicity. All you do is get together, either online or in person, with a writerly friend or two, set a time limit and then write like a maniac with extraordinarily fast arms until the time is up. I can get up to about 600 words per fifteen minutes when word warring.
If you don't have any writerly friends, you can still just set a timer and write until it pings. The word war just adds that extra incentive to crack your PB (personal best) and gives you more of those lovely words to edit into something worthy of a publishers time.
3. Switch off the TV
How many times have you sat down to watch a half an hour show and found yourself still staring at the telly two hours later? It's time to get strict. Pick a handful of "must watch" shows, shows you would record if you couldn't be there to watch, and switch the TV off the minutes the credits start rolling. Then leave the room to avoid the temptation to switch it back on again.
Along those lines, don't keep a TV in the same room that you write. If anything even remotely entertaining is on, you'll keep turning around to watch it. Keep the visually and auditorily distracting television out of the way. You're probably not missing anything, anyway.
4. Have babywearer, will write
I cannot tell you how useful a babywearer is. It allows you to keep your baby close, all snuggled up next to you, while your hands remain free. This means you can pretty much get anything you need to done, save for showering and bathing. As an added bonus, babies seem to love them, especially when they are old enough to face forwards and watch the world around them.
You know what this means don't you? Get yourself a wearer, pop baby in said wearer and get to writing. You and baby will love it.
5. Use parenting as a springboard to creativity.
Something about giving birth, whether or not you gave birth naturally or had interventions, seems to stimulate something inside. The ultimate act of creation seems to stimulate all these little creations inside you that bubble and boil inside you.
The key is to tap into that creativity. One day, your child or children will do something extremely cute, profoundly touching or incresibly stupid that is going set that bubble a'boilin'. When you feel that rumbling, grab a pen and let that bubble burst.
These little stories can turn into bigger stories or become the basis for characters later on.
6. Find what works for you.
For me, writing in the late morning when Finn is having his second nap works the best for me. I also find that writing around 7:30pm - 9:30pm a great time to tap into the muses, since Finn is in bed then and I'm usually still awake enough to make sense.
Meanwhile, some writerly friends of mine love getting up at 6:00am, writing like mad for an hour before bub gets up. Still more are up in the wee hours of the night, sipping a cup of tea while the hum of the computer keeps them company.
The point I'm trying to make, in an unnecessarily roundabout kind of way, is that you need to find the rhythm that works for you and your family. There's no use trying to get up at 6;)0am if you're not a morning person. Likewise, why force yourself to stay awake until midnight if all you want is your bed at that hour? Find your rhythm and you'll find your words.
7. Write.
Writers write. So write. Everyday. About anything. On any surface. For any length of time. For five minutes or five hours. Just write.
8. No really. Write. Stop reading this list of tips on writing and write.
It amazes me how many so-called writers spend more time reading about writing than they do actually writing. Do you think a cop would put on his uniform, pop the hat on his head and then cosy down to a nice book about being a cop, then call himself a cop? I doubt it.
Likewise, you cannot call yourself a writer if you get out your laptop, open a new Word file and then sit down and read a blog about writing. So stop reading this one and get writing. Go on, go. I can see you. Go. Click that little cross in the corner (or the red circle for Mac user). Go.
Get used to the idea that reading about writing is an aid to the actual writing and not a supplement.
9. Be kind to yourself.
Despite following all the tips above, you will find yourself not being able to write sometimes. If you didn't get to write today or this week or this fortnight, don't give yourself a hard time. Just sit down and write again this second you have a chance. Also, if you've got the flu, the baby is screaming and the dog wants to be let out, let yourself not write for the day. Take care of yourself the way you take care of your family and you will be able to keep writing for much longer and find more satisfaction in your work.
10. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do it, ever.
You will encounter naysayers when you say that you want to write. They'll remind you of your toddler or the housework or the low pay scales. Don't listen to them. They don't know what they are talking about. When you encounter a naysayers just smile politely and let whatever they're saying go in one ear and out the other. Unless they're telling you that while you were writing your toddler set the house on fire with a pile of money, don't listen.
Listen to me when I say you can do it. You will do it. If you listened to me back at Tip 8, you'd be doing it right now. Keep people around you who tell you that you can do it and listen to them as often as they're willing to tell you.
As for the money, as any writer or parent knows, we get rewarded by something much more valuable than money.
One thing I have had to learn is to not stress about what I am writing while I am writing it. When I just let the words come, they flow and develop much more easily than if I stop and reword something at the end of every sentence. It's ok to edit typos, but don't agonise over every nuanace of every sentence. Remember, you can't edit words you don't have.
2. Participate in word wars
I'm amazed that I have only just discovered this wonderful little writing tool. It's literally revolutionised my writing practice and my word count has increased expontentially.
The beauty is in the simplicity. All you do is get together, either online or in person, with a writerly friend or two, set a time limit and then write like a maniac with extraordinarily fast arms until the time is up. I can get up to about 600 words per fifteen minutes when word warring.
If you don't have any writerly friends, you can still just set a timer and write until it pings. The word war just adds that extra incentive to crack your PB (personal best) and gives you more of those lovely words to edit into something worthy of a publishers time.
3. Switch off the TV
How many times have you sat down to watch a half an hour show and found yourself still staring at the telly two hours later? It's time to get strict. Pick a handful of "must watch" shows, shows you would record if you couldn't be there to watch, and switch the TV off the minutes the credits start rolling. Then leave the room to avoid the temptation to switch it back on again.
Along those lines, don't keep a TV in the same room that you write. If anything even remotely entertaining is on, you'll keep turning around to watch it. Keep the visually and auditorily distracting television out of the way. You're probably not missing anything, anyway.
4. Have babywearer, will write
I cannot tell you how useful a babywearer is. It allows you to keep your baby close, all snuggled up next to you, while your hands remain free. This means you can pretty much get anything you need to done, save for showering and bathing. As an added bonus, babies seem to love them, especially when they are old enough to face forwards and watch the world around them.
You know what this means don't you? Get yourself a wearer, pop baby in said wearer and get to writing. You and baby will love it.
5. Use parenting as a springboard to creativity.
Something about giving birth, whether or not you gave birth naturally or had interventions, seems to stimulate something inside. The ultimate act of creation seems to stimulate all these little creations inside you that bubble and boil inside you.
The key is to tap into that creativity. One day, your child or children will do something extremely cute, profoundly touching or incresibly stupid that is going set that bubble a'boilin'. When you feel that rumbling, grab a pen and let that bubble burst.
These little stories can turn into bigger stories or become the basis for characters later on.
6. Find what works for you.
For me, writing in the late morning when Finn is having his second nap works the best for me. I also find that writing around 7:30pm - 9:30pm a great time to tap into the muses, since Finn is in bed then and I'm usually still awake enough to make sense.
Meanwhile, some writerly friends of mine love getting up at 6:00am, writing like mad for an hour before bub gets up. Still more are up in the wee hours of the night, sipping a cup of tea while the hum of the computer keeps them company.
The point I'm trying to make, in an unnecessarily roundabout kind of way, is that you need to find the rhythm that works for you and your family. There's no use trying to get up at 6;)0am if you're not a morning person. Likewise, why force yourself to stay awake until midnight if all you want is your bed at that hour? Find your rhythm and you'll find your words.
7. Write.
Writers write. So write. Everyday. About anything. On any surface. For any length of time. For five minutes or five hours. Just write.
8. No really. Write. Stop reading this list of tips on writing and write.
It amazes me how many so-called writers spend more time reading about writing than they do actually writing. Do you think a cop would put on his uniform, pop the hat on his head and then cosy down to a nice book about being a cop, then call himself a cop? I doubt it.
Likewise, you cannot call yourself a writer if you get out your laptop, open a new Word file and then sit down and read a blog about writing. So stop reading this one and get writing. Go on, go. I can see you. Go. Click that little cross in the corner (or the red circle for Mac user). Go.
Get used to the idea that reading about writing is an aid to the actual writing and not a supplement.
9. Be kind to yourself.
Despite following all the tips above, you will find yourself not being able to write sometimes. If you didn't get to write today or this week or this fortnight, don't give yourself a hard time. Just sit down and write again this second you have a chance. Also, if you've got the flu, the baby is screaming and the dog wants to be let out, let yourself not write for the day. Take care of yourself the way you take care of your family and you will be able to keep writing for much longer and find more satisfaction in your work.
10. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do it, ever.
You will encounter naysayers when you say that you want to write. They'll remind you of your toddler or the housework or the low pay scales. Don't listen to them. They don't know what they are talking about. When you encounter a naysayers just smile politely and let whatever they're saying go in one ear and out the other. Unless they're telling you that while you were writing your toddler set the house on fire with a pile of money, don't listen.
Listen to me when I say you can do it. You will do it. If you listened to me back at Tip 8, you'd be doing it right now. Keep people around you who tell you that you can do it and listen to them as often as they're willing to tell you.
As for the money, as any writer or parent knows, we get rewarded by something much more valuable than money.
The Birth of His Royal Higness Finn Aleister the 1st (concluded)
It was not to last for long, though, because I was whipped away and placed in the arms of a different, harder body. This person had a familiar scent to them as well but I couldn't place it and I recognised his voice. I let him hold me while I waited for that giant to come back so I could go home. I tried to think of ways to find my way back into my warm cosy apartment and refill it. Where would I get enough water? I wondered.
Eventually I was moved around and found my nose tickled by a scent. I found myself being placed on someone's chest and instantly recognised her as the giant woman who'd kept my apartment inside of her. I cuddled up to her, enjoying the smell of home, wondering if I was going to be allowed back in or if I'd have to make a new home out here.
I heard more voices telling me that this was Mother and that the male giant was Father. "They're going to look after you,” they said. I started crying from exhaustion and found myself being cuddled and soothed. I somehow fell into a dreamless sleep and woke up still being cuddled warmly.
It was then it dawned on me. I was here as their new ruler. Every whim I had, every desire, they would fulfil. Mother was a giant but she was at my beck and call day and night. Perhaps I was needed for some special reason? Perhaps they needed a strong leader to direct their days?
Well, I could do that. I am smart person, I thought. I will be such a ruler that all the other kings in the world will look to me for inspiration, I will be firm but fair and command respect. It also occurred to me that Mother and Father may become tired in their never-ending quest to please their sovereign, so I decided that here and there, I would allow them two, maybe three hours rest, before attending to my needs again. I believed in charity, after all. A leader need not be cruel to be effective!
And I since that day, I have been a charitable yet demanding King. Mother and Father seem happy in doting on me hand and foot.
Mother is currently typing away at Father's "computer." Every so often she turns to look at me and make a funny face or silly voice at me. I find it all very undignified but I indulge her with a smile because I know it amuses her so and, after all, I am a benevolent ruler.
Eventually I was moved around and found my nose tickled by a scent. I found myself being placed on someone's chest and instantly recognised her as the giant woman who'd kept my apartment inside of her. I cuddled up to her, enjoying the smell of home, wondering if I was going to be allowed back in or if I'd have to make a new home out here.
I heard more voices telling me that this was Mother and that the male giant was Father. "They're going to look after you,” they said. I started crying from exhaustion and found myself being cuddled and soothed. I somehow fell into a dreamless sleep and woke up still being cuddled warmly.
It was then it dawned on me. I was here as their new ruler. Every whim I had, every desire, they would fulfil. Mother was a giant but she was at my beck and call day and night. Perhaps I was needed for some special reason? Perhaps they needed a strong leader to direct their days?
Well, I could do that. I am smart person, I thought. I will be such a ruler that all the other kings in the world will look to me for inspiration, I will be firm but fair and command respect. It also occurred to me that Mother and Father may become tired in their never-ending quest to please their sovereign, so I decided that here and there, I would allow them two, maybe three hours rest, before attending to my needs again. I believed in charity, after all. A leader need not be cruel to be effective!
And I since that day, I have been a charitable yet demanding King. Mother and Father seem happy in doting on me hand and foot.
Mother is currently typing away at Father's "computer." Every so often she turns to look at me and make a funny face or silly voice at me. I find it all very undignified but I indulge her with a smile because I know it amuses her so and, after all, I am a benevolent ruler.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The Birth of His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st
I have decided it was time to impart my memories of the day I was "born."
It had been a pleasant morning. I'd woken up, rolled over, had a nap. I was quite hungry, though, I must admit and the bellpull I'd been tugging on since before I could remember seemed to be out of order. It was most frustrating.
I remember murmured voices but that was nothing unusual. In my cosy one bedroom apartment, complete with daily hot bath, I often heard the murmur of voices and muffled sounds. I never considered them part of the outside world, they were just part of my world.
On this particular day, though, there were new sounds. Three voices I didn't recognise, deep voices. I could feel my little home compressing oddly and the hot water slushing around more than usual. It was a most odd sensation.
At one point, I felt myself being tumbled, like I was often, in a backwards falling motion. To my abject horror, though, something new happened. I felt a cold sensation on my rear end, as though a hole had been torn in my cosy home. I looked around and saw with terror that there was, in fact, a hole and not only that, but a pair of giant hands were coming toward me.
Well, I did what any sensible young man would do. I scooted out of the way! The more I tried t escape these hands, though, the more the pursued me. On top of that, the warm water that had held me all these days was trickling away, accompanied by a sucking noise.
I was, to say the least, most unimpressed.
All of a sudden, I felt myself being enclosed by these hands and lifted upward until I suddenly broke into this blindingly light room, full of strange blue giants and beeping noises. Like the sensible young man I am, I screamed.
I was carried through the air, wrapped in some warm soft substance and placed on someone's head. It was a warm, female someone with an incredibly familiar scent. Don't tell me I’ve been living inside a giant woman, I thought.
Her scent was comforting to me though, as it reminded me of home, and I calmed down.
It had been a pleasant morning. I'd woken up, rolled over, had a nap. I was quite hungry, though, I must admit and the bellpull I'd been tugging on since before I could remember seemed to be out of order. It was most frustrating.
I remember murmured voices but that was nothing unusual. In my cosy one bedroom apartment, complete with daily hot bath, I often heard the murmur of voices and muffled sounds. I never considered them part of the outside world, they were just part of my world.
On this particular day, though, there were new sounds. Three voices I didn't recognise, deep voices. I could feel my little home compressing oddly and the hot water slushing around more than usual. It was a most odd sensation.
At one point, I felt myself being tumbled, like I was often, in a backwards falling motion. To my abject horror, though, something new happened. I felt a cold sensation on my rear end, as though a hole had been torn in my cosy home. I looked around and saw with terror that there was, in fact, a hole and not only that, but a pair of giant hands were coming toward me.
Well, I did what any sensible young man would do. I scooted out of the way! The more I tried t escape these hands, though, the more the pursued me. On top of that, the warm water that had held me all these days was trickling away, accompanied by a sucking noise.
I was, to say the least, most unimpressed.
All of a sudden, I felt myself being enclosed by these hands and lifted upward until I suddenly broke into this blindingly light room, full of strange blue giants and beeping noises. Like the sensible young man I am, I screamed.
I was carried through the air, wrapped in some warm soft substance and placed on someone's head. It was a warm, female someone with an incredibly familiar scent. Don't tell me I’ve been living inside a giant woman, I thought.
Her scent was comforting to me though, as it reminded me of home, and I calmed down.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The azure-coloured thumb of doom or What happened to the talented children's writers of yore?
Let it be known that I hate In the Night Garden with a passion. Let's go past the bit with the weird brown people with the bulging eyes that look a bit like stoned potatoes. Let's go straight to the really, super creepy giant blue thumb. That bloody thing just bounces around like a nauseating azure limb, waving around that red blankie like it's about to go bullfighting. Not only that, it follows me to the ABC store, to Dymocks, anywhere there are children or books it's there! I turn around and there it is, watching me from that creepy blue Gumby-like thumb head.
It isn't just In the Night Garden that bothers me (though it is the main culprit). There's also Boobah, which is just a bunch of giant blobs with eyes dancing for five minutes. Yesterday I found myself watching a particularly crass show, Mr Maker, that was obviously a poor man's version of Art Attack. The host was so condescending I could feel my IQ dropping.
The thing that offends me the most about these programs is not that they are nauseating or that I feel compelled to check under my bed for dancing blobs or thumb sucking, well, thumbs. No, what I am offended at is they treat children as though they are idiots. Yes, small children do have a fair way to go with regards to cognitive development. That doesn't make them stupid. Instead of providing blobs and silly voices for entertainment, why not include something that might actually help them to develop their cognitive abilities? Something that helps them think? I know that babies love bright colours and people making funny voices at them. But babies quickly become toddlers who become children and they need more than dancing blobs.
In the good old days of my own childhood I watched Mysterious Cities of Gold, Superted, Play School, Spellbinder, Sesame Street, Maid Marian and her Merry Men and a bunch of other quality kids' shows. Sure, they were aimed at children but when I sit down to watch them now, I don't feel spoken down to, nor do I feel compelled to take to my TV with a mallet.
Where did the writers of said shows go? Did they not pass down their knowledge to suitably talented protégés? Didn't they at least think to say "Hey, children are not dumb." In the Night Garden plays out like it was written by a stoned potato who'd just hammered his thumb.
I know there are many sound arguments against children watching TV at all. I certainly agree that babies would be much better served by mobiles and Mama making funny faces at them. However, not all parents ban their kids from the TV and since so many studies have shown how TV influences children, I think it would behove the writers to remember that their audience comprises of young people whose minds are quite malleable and able to take in and learn a surprising amount.
I know there has always been and will always be crappy TV shows out there. In the Night Garden is one of many. However, it seems Australian TV is currently overwhelmed by insultingly dumb programming for its younger audience and until the day someone writes something worth watching, my son’s viewing will be strictly monitored.
If only to stop the nightmares of that dancing thumb. . .
It isn't just In the Night Garden that bothers me (though it is the main culprit). There's also Boobah, which is just a bunch of giant blobs with eyes dancing for five minutes. Yesterday I found myself watching a particularly crass show, Mr Maker, that was obviously a poor man's version of Art Attack. The host was so condescending I could feel my IQ dropping.
The thing that offends me the most about these programs is not that they are nauseating or that I feel compelled to check under my bed for dancing blobs or thumb sucking, well, thumbs. No, what I am offended at is they treat children as though they are idiots. Yes, small children do have a fair way to go with regards to cognitive development. That doesn't make them stupid. Instead of providing blobs and silly voices for entertainment, why not include something that might actually help them to develop their cognitive abilities? Something that helps them think? I know that babies love bright colours and people making funny voices at them. But babies quickly become toddlers who become children and they need more than dancing blobs.
In the good old days of my own childhood I watched Mysterious Cities of Gold, Superted, Play School, Spellbinder, Sesame Street, Maid Marian and her Merry Men and a bunch of other quality kids' shows. Sure, they were aimed at children but when I sit down to watch them now, I don't feel spoken down to, nor do I feel compelled to take to my TV with a mallet.
Where did the writers of said shows go? Did they not pass down their knowledge to suitably talented protégés? Didn't they at least think to say "Hey, children are not dumb." In the Night Garden plays out like it was written by a stoned potato who'd just hammered his thumb.
I know there are many sound arguments against children watching TV at all. I certainly agree that babies would be much better served by mobiles and Mama making funny faces at them. However, not all parents ban their kids from the TV and since so many studies have shown how TV influences children, I think it would behove the writers to remember that their audience comprises of young people whose minds are quite malleable and able to take in and learn a surprising amount.
I know there has always been and will always be crappy TV shows out there. In the Night Garden is one of many. However, it seems Australian TV is currently overwhelmed by insultingly dumb programming for its younger audience and until the day someone writes something worth watching, my son’s viewing will be strictly monitored.
If only to stop the nightmares of that dancing thumb. . .
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Things I have learned about parenting
- You may only have two hands but remember you also have two feet and a chin to substitute.
- Going to the toilet with the door closed is a luxury.
- All parents are part of a secret club. When you pass another parent on the street or at the mall, you won't be able to help but smile to affirm your membership.
- Unscheduled wardrobe changes will become part of your day.
- Parent rooms are always a five kilometre walk from where you happen to be.
- If you have a boy, change his nappy as fast as possible, stand back and keep your mouth closed. The day you forget to do this is the day you realise why should never forget to do this.
- Your baby will always stop doing that cute, adorable or hilarious thing as soon as you bring out the camera.
- Contrary to popular belief, all newborns actually look very different to each other. You'll be able to recognise yours by the fact they are the cutest, most beautiful and most perfectly formed china doll in the nursery.
- Children come with a free pass to watch Sesame Street, read Where the Wild Things Are and tickle Tickle Me Elmo in public without getting a funny look from anyone.
- You will not be able to walk through the mall without old people or clucky young women stopping you to coo over the baby. Sorry.
- You will laugh at baby commercials idealising bath time. Your Johnsons & Johnsons doesn't turn your squalling little devil into a serene little angel!
- You will find lists like this hilarious.
The Improbable pursuit of writing and motherhood
My name is Nicky and I am a Writer Mama.
We're a funny lot, us Writer Mamas. Not for us the leisurely 9 -5 day. Oh no. A Writer Mama can be found clackety-clacking away at her computer at all hours. She can be found scratchety-scratching in her journal in between nappy changes. Even in her dreams she is plotting her next novel while her dream-self folds laundry.
In short, we're multitaskers. We're also passionate, determined and, probably, just a bit mad.
With that in mind, this blog will be somewhat of a multitasker. Here I will muse on the changes in me since becoming a mother, the inevitable evolution of my writing and the fine tuning and negotiation required to balance the two parts of my life - writing and motherhood. You'll also see funny lists, parenting in-jokes and book reviews on relevant publications.
My co-host (who introduced himself in the previous post) is Finn Aleister. Born on December 18, 2009, Finn is now ten weeks old and getting bigger by the minute. I hope you find his contributions as enlightening as I do!
Now, if you excuse me, his Royal Highness is thwarting my writing again.
We're a funny lot, us Writer Mamas. Not for us the leisurely 9 -5 day. Oh no. A Writer Mama can be found clackety-clacking away at her computer at all hours. She can be found scratchety-scratching in her journal in between nappy changes. Even in her dreams she is plotting her next novel while her dream-self folds laundry.
In short, we're multitaskers. We're also passionate, determined and, probably, just a bit mad.
With that in mind, this blog will be somewhat of a multitasker. Here I will muse on the changes in me since becoming a mother, the inevitable evolution of my writing and the fine tuning and negotiation required to balance the two parts of my life - writing and motherhood. You'll also see funny lists, parenting in-jokes and book reviews on relevant publications.
My co-host (who introduced himself in the previous post) is Finn Aleister. Born on December 18, 2009, Finn is now ten weeks old and getting bigger by the minute. I hope you find his contributions as enlightening as I do!
Now, if you excuse me, his Royal Highness is thwarting my writing again.
The Diary of His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st
Today marks the 70th day of my reign.
My loyal subjects, Mother and Father, continue to pander to my every need, though I must make my complaint at their slowness known. There are times I have been made to wait for as long as 30 seconds for them to attend to me. This will not do but as I am a gracious sovereign, I shall forgive their folly.
Father has gone on his daily quest to bring back this substance known as "money." It is of little consequence to me, I am distracted by the far more important pursuit of thwarting Mother in her attempts to "write." I have yet to see this "writing," as all Mother does is sit in front of a big black box and make clicking noises with this black pad.
Mother has informed me that I may take my royal nap now. Before I return to my chamber, I will leave you with this: I hope that this diary will be an accurate reflection and capture the important words of a new monarch. May your stay here be enlightening!
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st
My loyal subjects, Mother and Father, continue to pander to my every need, though I must make my complaint at their slowness known. There are times I have been made to wait for as long as 30 seconds for them to attend to me. This will not do but as I am a gracious sovereign, I shall forgive their folly.
Father has gone on his daily quest to bring back this substance known as "money." It is of little consequence to me, I am distracted by the far more important pursuit of thwarting Mother in her attempts to "write." I have yet to see this "writing," as all Mother does is sit in front of a big black box and make clicking noises with this black pad.
Mother has informed me that I may take my royal nap now. Before I return to my chamber, I will leave you with this: I hope that this diary will be an accurate reflection and capture the important words of a new monarch. May your stay here be enlightening!
His Royal Highness Finn Aleister the 1st
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