Hiatus

Let me apologise for my unannounced hiatus. After a hectic semester at Uni, an ever-erratic writing schedule and a sick baby, I needed a little break from my blog to concentrate on my novel and personal creative work. Never fear, Writer Mama (and Son) is back to full functionality as of now and any additional hiatuses will be announced.

Also, please enjoy the little stories promised for Finny Photos. New photos coming soon!

Story 4: Play

Here is the aforementioned play mat that His Royal Highness likes to have dragged into my room, so he can lie on the floor and distract me from whatever my current literary pursuit is.

On this particular day, His Highness had decided that the best game to play was "I am tired but want to stay up so I will make you hold my dummy while I wrap my arms around your hand in a vice-like grip. Additionally, I will fix you with a Mesmer stare, rendering you hypnotised so you cannot escape! Muahahaha!"

Sounds a little like the title of a Ricki Lake episode, if you ask me.

His Royal Highness still enjoys this game, but these days he usually wants it in the context of before-sleep preparations. Fortunately, these measures usually only take a few minutes to induce sleep and I can have my hand back within five minutes. Feeling usually returns within the hour.

I still prefer "Flying Baby" to "I am tired but want to stay up so I will make you hold my dummy while I wrap my arms around your hand in a vice-like grip. Additionally, I will fix you with a Mesmer stare, rendering you hypnotised so you cannot escape! Muahahaha!" It's just punchier!

~

As you may have guessed, there really wasn't much of a story behind "Play," worth writing about. Let that be a lesson to me to pick better photos next time!

Story 3: Jesse

Mother is a particularly odd person at times.

Although I am her King, there are times she is under the delusion that she rules over me and, since I am only small, she holds me in her lap and makes me watch this nauseating program, Full House, in which other humans harass their Queen, Michelle.

One character I find particularly crass is the "Uncle," a greasy haired man named Jesse. Jesse is always kissing and hugging people and overusing the phrase "Have mercy!" I do believe it should be his victims asking for mercy!

He has a particular propensity to do this to Queen Michelle. No matter how many times she informs him that he is in "big trouble, mister!", he continues to pick her up, carry her around, kiss her and throw her around the place in random directions. What a dastardly way to treat royalty! Michelle is, fortunately, good humoured about the whole thing and even seems to have started to enjoy this rough treatment.

It is not only his own Queen he disrespects, though. Whenever there is another King or Queen in the house, Jesse insists on performing these bizarre tortures on these poor unsuspecting monarchs. This photo demonstrates how his relentless badgering does not stop, even when he reduces this King to tears.

He really is an awfully disrespectful subject. It bemuses me that he has not yet been vomited on, or even received the most dire of punishments - number 3s.

Of course, Mother finds this all very amusing. Everytime that schmuck is on the television, I must endure his completely un-funny antics and tolerate Mothers squealing "Ooh, it's Uncle Jesse, look at him with that baby! Aww!"

The number 3 would be preferable to this.

*sigh* I truly am a tolerant ruler.

Story 2: Puppy love

The Interloper and Mother were outside, while I sat on the sidelines in my chariot. The day was warm and Father was enjoying the outdoors, too, waving around this silver box called a "camera."

Meanwhile, Mother and The Interloper were engaged in some curious dance in which she called out the next step and he performed it. It occurred to me that it was an odd dance, since Mother did not actually dance, other than to walk around in circles or to bend her knee, but I figured that was how this dance was supposed to be performed.

At one point in this dance, Mother knelt in front of a seated Interloper and started holding her hand above him, screaming "High five!" He stared at her, utter bemusement painted on his beastly features. Suddenly, it was like a switch was flicked. His eyes lit up and his paw met with Mother's outstretched hand. Mother squealed "High five!" and started shoving little pellets in his mouth, which he seemed to enjoy. She kept lifting her hand, screaming "High five!" at The Interloper, to which he placed his paw in her palm.

Apparently "high five" is Mother's favourite dance move from around these parts. They must not know that step in The Interloper's country, or she would not have had to teach him.

My subjects are truly bizarre, but at least they keep me entertained with their outlandish tomfoolery.

Story 1: Distraction

Finn likes to sit by me while I write. Sometimes, he likes to lie on the floor and play with his myriad toys. Other times, he likes to practice rolling. But many times he likes to sit on my lap and try to take over the keyboard.

This photo was taken during one of those times. Finn was sitting on my lap, attempting to type up his own literary masterpiece, equivalent in scope only to Tolstoy's War and Peace (well in his [and my] mind, anyway), when I got fed up of my little "distraction" and lifted him up into the air, screaming "Flying baby - away!"

Little did I know the monster I had just created. His new favourite thing is to distract Mummy in order to induce a game of Flying Baby. *face palm*

When he isn't busy throwing his toys on the floor for Mum to pick them up, that is.