Mother is a particularly odd person at times.
Although I am her King, there are times she is under the delusion that she rules over me and, since I am only small, she holds me in her lap and makes me watch this nauseating program, Full House, in which other humans harass their Queen, Michelle.
One character I find particularly crass is the "Uncle," a greasy haired man named Jesse. Jesse is always kissing and hugging people and overusing the phrase "Have mercy!" I do believe it should be his victims asking for mercy!
He has a particular propensity to do this to Queen Michelle. No matter how many times she informs him that he is in "big trouble, mister!", he continues to pick her up, carry her around, kiss her and throw her around the place in random directions. What a dastardly way to treat royalty! Michelle is, fortunately, good humoured about the whole thing and even seems to have started to enjoy this rough treatment.
It is not only his own Queen he disrespects, though. Whenever there is another King or Queen in the house, Jesse insists on performing these bizarre tortures on these poor unsuspecting monarchs. This photo demonstrates how his relentless badgering does not stop, even when he reduces this King to tears.
He really is an awfully disrespectful subject. It bemuses me that he has not yet been vomited on, or even received the most dire of punishments - number 3s.
Of course, Mother finds this all very amusing. Everytime that schmuck is on the television, I must endure his completely un-funny antics and tolerate Mothers squealing "Ooh, it's Uncle Jesse, look at him with that baby! Aww!"
The number 3 would be preferable to this.
*sigh* I truly am a tolerant ruler.
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