Things I have learned about parenting

1. You may only have two hands but remember you also have two feet and a chin to substitute.
2. Going to the toilet with the door closed is a luxury.
   
3. All parents are part of a secret club. When you pass another parent on the street or at the mall, you won't be able to help but smile to affirm your membership.
   
4. Unscheduled wardrobe changes will become part of your day.
   
5. Parent rooms are always a five kilometre walk from where you happen to be.
6. If you have a boy, change his nappy as fast as possible, stand back and keep your mouth closed. The day you forget to do this is the day you realise why should never forget to do this.
   
7. Your baby will always stop doing that cute, adorable or hilarious thing as soon as you bring out the camera.
8. Contrary to popular belief, all newborns actually look very different to each other. You'll be able to recognise yours by the fact they are the cutest, most beautiful and most perfectly formed china doll in the nursery.
9. Children come with a free pass to watch Sesame Street, read Where the Wild Things Are and tickle Tickle Me Elmo in public without getting a funny look from anyone.
   
10. You will not be able to walk through the mall without old people or clucky young women stopping you to coo over the baby. Sorry.
11. You will laugh at baby commercials idealising bath time. Your Johnsons & Johnsons doesn't turn your squalling little devil into a serene little angel!
    
12. You will find lists like this hilarious.