The azure-coloured thumb of doom or What happened to the talented children's writers of yore?

Let it be known that I hate In the Night Garden with a passion. Let's go past the bit with the weird brown people with the bulging eyes that look a bit like stoned potatoes. Let's go straight to the really, super creepy giant blue thumb. That bloody thing just bounces around like a nauseating azure limb, waving around that red blankie like it's about to go bullfighting. Not only that, it follows me to the ABC store, to Dymocks, anywhere there are children or books it's there! I turn around and there it is, watching me from that creepy blue Gumby-like thumb head.

It isn't just In the Night Garden that bothers me (though it is the main culprit). There's also Boobah, which is just a bunch of giant blobs with eyes dancing for five minutes. Yesterday I found myself watching a particularly crass show, Mr Maker, that was obviously a poor man's version of Art Attack. The host was so condescending I could feel my IQ dropping.

The thing that offends me the most about these programs is not that they are nauseating or that I feel compelled to check under my bed for dancing blobs or thumb sucking, well, thumbs. No, what I am offended at is they treat children as though they are idiots. Yes, small children do have a fair way to go with regards to cognitive development. That doesn't make them stupid. Instead of providing blobs and silly voices for entertainment, why not include something that might actually help them to develop their cognitive abilities? Something that helps them think? I know that babies love bright colours and people making funny voices at them. But babies quickly become toddlers who become children and they need more than dancing blobs.

In the good old days of my own childhood I watched Mysterious Cities of Gold, Superted, Play School, Spellbinder, Sesame Street, Maid Marian and her Merry Men and a bunch of other quality kids' shows. Sure, they were aimed at children but when I sit down to watch them now, I don't feel spoken down to, nor do I feel compelled to take to my TV with a mallet.

Where did the writers of said shows go? Did they not pass down their knowledge to suitably talented protégés? Didn't they at least think to say "Hey, children are not dumb." In the Night Garden plays out like it was written by a stoned potato who'd just hammered his thumb.

I know there are many sound arguments against children watching TV at all. I certainly agree that babies would be much better served by mobiles and Mama making funny faces at them. However, not all parents ban their kids from the TV and since so many studies have shown how TV influences children, I think it would behove the writers to remember that their audience comprises of young people whose minds are quite malleable and able to take in and learn a surprising amount.

I know there has always been and will always be crappy TV shows out there. In the Night Garden is one of many. However, it seems Australian TV is currently overwhelmed by insultingly dumb programming for its younger audience and until the day someone writes something worth watching, my son’s viewing will be strictly monitored.

If only to stop the nightmares of that dancing thumb. . .